Observations 6.12.1

A bit of an introduction to my aunt from a post I totally forgot I had written. Click here to read the full post.

(April 14, 2013)

I'm not sure if I have ever mentioned my aunt before but I should have as she is probably one of the more interesting members of my family. In many ways I'm more like my aunt than I am my mom just as in many ways my aunt and mom are very different. Both loved art but my aunt made it her life as she graduated from two art schools and worked at a few museums including the Philadelphia Museum of Art. Never married she lived in Los Angeles and New York, at one time having an apartment just blocks from where I live now, as well as Brooklyn, Philadelphia, and Atlanta. The Atlanta stop I should ask her about because I never could figure that one out.

My aunt is the world traveling rebellious sister while my mom was the much more serious and at times philosophical one. In that way the two remind me a lot of my sister and I. In art my mom's interests ran more towards classical art and history while my aunt loves all things modern and abstract. When my mom lost her hair during chemo she religiously wore a Penn State cap her daughter forced on her. Last year, after being diagnosed with the same rare cancer as my mom, my aunt refused all offers from my rather large hat collection and acquired a large collection of her own, long printed scarves that flow behind her.

Observations 6.12

It's become the worst possible form of deja vu. Some fifteen years ago I watched as my mom was consumed by cancer and as many years later I watch as the disease slowly but ever so surely takes her sister, my aunt.

With my mom I found myself consumed with rage, rage against a world I felt had deserted me. In many ways I took it out on myself because I reasoned if the world had deserted me it was perfectly acceptable to desert myself. Essentially I was selfish. Now I find I'm more retrospective, thinking more about my life, what I've done and what I want to do with it. I think a lot about my family.

I'm sure one explanation of the difference in reactions is simply age, that magic wand called maturity, the different way a thirty year old's mind reacts to a situation compared to a teenager's mind. How much of the difference comes from the knowledge that I carry the same gene that destroyed both my mom and my aunt I can not say. Along with maturity comes knowledge and with that knowledge comes questions, some of those questions never have an answer. Probably the main question is the simplest, why? It's ironic how the simplest question is also one that has no answer.

It's so hard to put any of what I'm thinking or feeling into words but I had to try if for no other reason than my sanity. When I write, ramble as I might at times, I can see concrete thoughts, this is what I'm thinking. When I talk about my feelings on this or any subject I sometimes change my thoughts before the conversation is over. Normally I like that, I like that my mind is constantly changing, evolving to use an overused word. But in this case I find it all too emotional and feel like my brain is on the verge of burning out. Maybe this will help, maybe not.

But than there are the times I just can't get Birdy's "Wings" out of my head. It is what it is.

Observations from the Window 8.22

I wrote this a few days ago. I was catching up on magazines, but now have no idea where I was going with it. I'll just post it as is with a link to the complete article at the bottom.

Sometimes I'll read a whole magazine and have only one sentence or paragraph linger after I finish. That's what happened when I read The New York Times Magazine from a few weeks back. In an article about a French base jumper who had died I found the following words that ring true in more areas than base jumping.

"If you’re all tuned in, there’s ‘Yes,’" he said. "On the mediocre days, there are two other voices. One’s ‘Fear.’ Your body is screaming out at you, ‘Don’t do this,’ because it’s dangerous, unnatural. You’re there to conquer your fear. But there’s another voice that hangs around every now and again, and that’s called ‘No.’ Something’s not right. You can never put your finger on it, it could be something in your pack job, or the weather, or the people you’re jumping with, or your mind-set. It’s just, ‘Walk away, don’t go jumping today.’ The difficulty is trying to discern between ‘Fear’ and ‘No,’ because they’re both telling you the same thing. ‘No’ is your sixth sense that’s trying to save your life."

"It’s More Like a Suicide Than a Sport"

Observations from the Coffee Shop 8.1

Twitter always seemed a more natural media to me. It doesn't have the massive profiles, groups, or games of other sites. It serves a more limited purpose and in most cases what I post is what I'm reading, looking at, or thinking about at any given moment. I have been known to delete a post I don't think looks like it belongs, I've been told I'm aesthetically obsessed at times, and because I hate typos but both cases are rare.

Over the past couple weeks (July 16^th through July 29^th) something fascinating and important happened on Twitter. Scott Simon, a weekend host on NPR, live tweeted the final days of his 84 year old mother's life. I didn't read it live but I've read it since and I think it's beautiful. Simon said he didn't plan on doing it but it began when he found out his mother needed emergency surgery. As he updated her condition he began receiving thousands of responses and so continued posting till the end.

I learned a few things going through my mom's death and one of them relates to this. Some people think death needs to be extremely private and happen behind closed doors. Out of sight. I finally decided, with some help, that those people thought what they did more out of their own fear of death than for any other reason. As with life what matters most in the end is what is best for the people directly involved.

Even now, over ten years after my mom's death, it helped to read his tweets. It helps to realize other people go through, feel, and think the same things. I remember at the time so many questions were running through my head. What should I say? What should I do? How am I supposed to act? I was touched by Simon being torn at times between holding his mother's hand and doing the 'manly' thing by not. I was at my mother's side at the very end and I didn't hold her hand, I just couldn't. That still haunts me sometimes.

But then there is a moment that makes me smile to this day. Needing to be alone I walked out to the hospital parking lot and smoked a cigarette next to a no smoking sign. At the moment I imagined my mother smacking the back of my head for being rebellious even then. Maybe it's just me, maybe the moment doesn't exist, but it seemed like the moment when memory took over from reality. Maybe that's just the way my mind works.

At 8:17 PM on July 29^th Simon tweeted this; "The heavens over Chicago have opened and Patricia Lyons Simon Newman has stepped onstage."

notes - Here is the link to Scott Simon's twitter page, @nprscottsimon, you'll need to scroll down to the dates involved. Here is a good column on NPR by Andy Carvin that includes many of Simon's tweets and also some of the responses, "On Twitter, Scott Simon's Long Goodbye To His Mother."

Observations

I found out today that Saturday night somebody my sister went to school with most of her life was shot and killed not far from my dad's house. While I wont go into details it sounds all too much like a case of suicide by police. The question you should ask yourself about this is how did a young man who has had mental issues since elementary school acquire two hand guns. He personally harmed nobody, including himself,  but because of those two guns he is dead today.

I don't want to preach or write a sermon but I needed to say something. This country has some serious issues it needs to come to grips with and I only hope it does before it's too damn late for more of us.

As my sister wrote, "nobody should feel the need to leave this earth so young but now you're in a better place."

Rest In Peace

Father's Day

It's become a habit of mine to post the same Mother's Day post every year. It isn't because I'm lazy but because whenever I read it I realize I couldn't say it any better than I already had. I was surprised when I looked back and saw I had written more than one Father's Day post but once again after reading them I'm stuck with the same thought. I can't say it any better now than I did than and so here is what I wrote three years ago.

"I suppose I never mention my dad much, not nearly as much as he deserves. The quiet one of the family, just sitting back and watching as his crazy kids grow hopefully into something worthwhile. If my mom was my early inspiration my dad was the rock I leaned on. The one I go to when everything seems destined to fall apart.

I was the first, and I don’t think he wanted to wait years for ‘the kid’ to come along, so I became the pseudo jock artist at an early age. Of course I hadn't yet thrown lesbian into that mix, even I wasn't that young. I played all kinds of sports before settling on field hockey full time and he was always there. He was always the quiet one but always there for the games, the tournaments, and would drive me to Philly to go to a cool sports shop for sticks.

I am a lot of things because of my dad and a few things despite him, yeah try and guess that last one. I suppose that is how it is with anybody. I’m totally passionate about my sports and at times I am a voracious reader. I have been known to fish, yes fish. While my mom was taking me to New York and museums my dad was sneaking me off to Phillies games and sharing the shear sloppy joy of a cheese steak. I love to play ice hockey, skate, and I always wear hockey skates.

He bought me my first camera telling me, with a wink, that I couldn't paint everything.

And he pushed me to get my masters when I had had just about enough and was ready to give up. Though, to be honest, I always thought he steered me into Art History because he figured I would have a better chance of getting a job and getting out of his hair.

Like I said he is always there."

Happy Father’s Day Dad

Happy Mother's Day

It's time for my Mother's Day post again and if you've been reading for any length of time you've seen it before. As I said last year it's was what I felt when I first wrote it, what I felt every year since than, and what I feel now. It just seems to get a little longer every year. Last year I added a quote from Mitch Albom's novel "For One More Day," the story of a man and his mother and how one might spend one more day with a lost relative. "But there's a story behind everything. How a picture got on a wall. How a scar got on your face. Sometimes the stories are simple, and sometimes they are hard and heartbreaking. But behind all your stories is always your mother's story, because hers is where yours begin."

This year I'm going to add this quote from John Lennon which I think explains so many of today's problems. "When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life."

Here is my original Mother's Day post from 2010.

"I was reading a Mother's Day blog post today that had me thinking. As you all know by now thinking is not always a good thing for me to be doing. But I could so relate to this girl because her mom had died of cancer at a young age.

I owe my mom so much. She was the first one to see something special behind my dark eyes. She would drag me around Philadelphia museums when I was barely old enough to walk. She was the first one to stick my fingers in paint, which was something that ended in quite a mess if I remember it correctly. And the first one to take me to wander the streets of New York and to visit MOMA (Museum of Modern Art) which was one of her favorite places in the world. She always praised my art but was also never afraid to criticize it.

When, as a teenager, I suddenly informed my parents I was gay she just hugged me and went about her business like I hadn’t just changed her life forever. From than on I knew I would be fine. She was the one who, in my rebellious high school years, kept me grounded when things could have gone so wrong.

She was always there for me until one day she wasn't.

Everything I’ll ever be as an artist I owe to my mom and every time I look at a painting I wonder what she would have thought of it. Every day I wish I could thank her somehow.

I’ll leave you with a very fitting quote from the blog I read.

'This mother’s day be sure to tell them how much you care for all they have done for you, for you may never get another chance. Learn about their lives and you may learn something about yourself.'"

Happy Mother's Day

Sunday Observations 3.17

Vivek Shraya is a musician and writer living in Toronto who one day he had a cool idea and asked people what they loved about being queer. He filmed the answers in his living room and made them into a documentary. The film became a tumblr where you can post a photo and your own answer to his question. Now it has become a book which also includes essays by Farzana Doctor, Elisha Lim, Kathryn Payne, and Marilyn McLean. The book can be ordered from his website or in Toronto bookstores if you happen to be passing through.


What I LOVE about being QUEER
Film teaser from Vivek Shraya on Vimeo.
Film and Screening Inquiries 

Observations from the Window 1.17

The whole gun debate is more likely to piss me off than bring tears to my eyes but yesterday President Obama did just that when he mentioned Grace McDonnell, a victim of the Newtown massacre. I always say massacre because the word shooting doesn't quite seem enough and slaughter, though that's exactly what it was, seems too much. Whatever, every time I read these words I tear up.

"When I visited Newtown last month I spent some private time with many of the families who'd lost their children that day. And one was the family of Grace McDonnell. Grace's parents are here. Grace was seven years old when she was struck down, just a gorgeous, caring, joyful little girl. I'm told she loved pink. She loved the beach. She dreamed of becoming a painter."

Observations from the Window 1.3.1

The first new post of year four is going to be something a little different for me. I'm going to respond to a few suggestions, comments, and reminders from the past few days.

A friend of mine reminded me that if this is the start of the fourth year of this blog it's also the start of my fourth year in the Village. I hadn't even thought of that but it's very true. It's also a little hard to admit but I think I feel more at home here now than I do in the mountains and that is something I didn't think I would ever say. I still think of my dad's as home though, that is until I plant myself in that apartment in Paris.

Lately I've been told that sometimes I'm a bit too harsh in my comments, something that I think was intended as much for me personally as for my writing. To be honest for the most part I've always been that way but as I got older I also realized that anything else was totally a waste of your time and mine. I don't see my ever changing that opinion.

Someone recently mentioned that I don't write about personal things very often. My answer to that was that if there was a story to be had it was in here somewhere. There isn't much of a personal nature I haven't written about that I intend to write about, it's all in here somewhere but it might take some digging to find it. Something you are not going to find in here are bad personal relationship stories because, as Ash says, you aren't ready for them, can't handle them, just don't want to know. Also I don't plan on ever writing about my relationship with Anne Hathaway.

Finally earlier today I had a suggestion from somebody who has been reading this since I started. He left a very kind comment but than suggested I "skip the effing sports section." I would seriously consider this but I'm not quite sure what if anything Swedes know about sports so I'll just have to shrug it off as a well meaning but totally off suggestion.

Sarcasm, than again maybe it isn't.

Observations

by  Kate le Roux

"This Happened."

Photo at left and words tweeted by Dan Savage after he and Terry Miller were officially and legally wed in Seattle, Washington earlier today. I don't think I need to add anything.

Observations 12.1

Today is World AIDS Day. On a trip to New York when I was maybe ten I met a friend of my mom's who I now barely remember but I do remember as possibly the funniest person I have ever met. If somebody would ask me to describe him today what comes to mind is the Nathan Lane character in The Birdcage. My mom didn't tell me until later that he had AIDS because she didn't want my reaction to that fact clouding how I reacted to him. I never met him again and he died from the disease a year or so later. I can't even remember his name.

Since HIV/AIDS* was recognized by the CDC in 1981 over 30 million people have died and currently 35 million are HIV positive of which 3.5 million are children born HIV positive. In the United States 50,000 die every year and 150 are diagnosed every day. In comparison in 2009 10,839 people died in alcohol related traffic accidents.

I know comparing AIDS to drunk driving deaths is totally messed up but if you asked the average American what killed more every year, AIDS or drunk driving, I'd be willing to bet a majority would say drunk driving. This country's priorities always seem to be messed up that way. If we as a nation took half the money we spend on war, weapons, and killing and spent that money on AIDS and Cancer research we could probably go a long way towards wiping out both. Never going to happen.

For what it's worth ....

WORLD AIDS DAY, 2012
BY THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
A PROCLAMATION

On World AIDS Day, more than 30 years after the first cases of this tragic illness were reported, we join the global community once more in standing with the millions of people who live with HIV/AIDS worldwide. We also recommit to preventing the spread of this disease, fighting the stigma associated with infection, and ending this pandemic once and for all.

In 2010, my Administration released the National HIV/AIDS Strategy, our Nation's first comprehensive plan to fight the domestic epidemic. The Strategy aims to reduce new infections, increase access to care, reduce health disparities, and achieve a more coordinated national response to HIV/AIDS here in the United States. To meet these goals, we are advancing HIV/AIDS education; connecting stakeholders throughout the public, private, and non-profit sectors; and investing in promising research that can improve clinical outcomes and reduce the risk of transmission. Moving forward, we must continue to focus on populations with the highest HIV disparities -- including gay men, and African American and Latino communities -- and scale up effective, evidence-based interventions to prevent and treat HIV. We are also implementing the Affordable Care Act, which has expanded access to HIV testing and will ensure that all Americans, including those living with HIV/AIDS, have access to health insurance beginning in 2014.

These actions are bringing us closer to an AIDS-free generation at home and abroad -- a goal that, while ambitious, is within sight. Through the President's Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief (PEPFAR), we are on track to meet the HIV prevention and treatment targets I set last year. We are working with partners at home and abroad to reduce new infections in adults, help people with HIV/AIDS live longer, prevent mother-to-child transmission, and support the global effort to eliminate new infections in children by 2015. And thanks to bipartisan action to lift the entry ban on persons living with HIV, we were proud to welcome leaders from around the world to the 19th International AIDS Conference in Washington, D.C.

Creating an AIDS-free generation is a shared responsibility. It requires commitment from partner countries, coupled with support from donors, civil society, people living with HIV, faith-based organizations, the private sector, foundations, and multilateral institutions. We stand at a tipping point in the fight against HIV/AIDS, and working together, we can realize our historic opportunity to bring that fight to an end.

Today, we reflect on the strides we have taken toward overcoming HIV/AIDS, honor those who have made our progress possible, and keep in our thoughts all those who have known the devastating consequences of this illness. The road toward an AIDS-free generation is long -- but as we mark this important observance, let us also remember that if we move forward every day with the same passion, persistence, and drive that has brought us this far, we can reach our goal. We can beat this disease. On World AIDS Day, in memory of those no longer with us and in solidarity with all who carry on the fight, let us pledge to make that vision a reality.

NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and the laws of the United States do hereby proclaim December 1, 2012, as World AIDS Day. I urge the Governors of the States and the Commonwealth of Puerto Rico, officials of the other territories subject to the jurisdiction of the United States, and the American people to join me in appropriate activities to remember those who have lost their lives to AIDS and to provide support and comfort to those living with this disease.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this twenty-ninth day of November, in the year of our Lord two thousand twelve, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and thirty-seventh.

Barack Obama

*A few links if you want to learn more:
AIDS Healthcare Foundation
AIDS.gov
HIV Law Project
UN AIDS
Wikipedia HIV/AIDS

Observations on Sandy 10.29

After this post I'm probably going to do like I did with Irene and just keep updating the same one or two posts unless something drastic comes up. I have no idea what would be drastic in this situation.

To catch up last night's last projections had sandy coming ashore just about on top of Stone Harbor, New Jersey, the beach house, and Fred's. Unlike Irene this storm is going to drive straight into the shore and not run parallel to it. I don't think Stone Harbor has ever received a direst hit. Some video I saw on Philly news yesterday already looked bad, I hope the house survives.

In the Village the first hard rain fell just after 1 AM last night. About an hour before that I went for a walk and the streets were just dead, empty, I know it was one in the morning but this is New York. The streets were nowhere near as dead before Irene. Also it was deathly quiet without the subways running. The only major event was what I swear was bird flying into the window while I sat chatting. Scared the crap out of me.

One thing I noticed during my first look today was the sky. So reminiscent of a blizzard and not at the churning nasty sky of a hurricane. Found a small coffee shop just inside Zone A that the owner said will remain open for the duration. Nice to know for later but I wont name it for obvious reasons. Not that anybody reads this but why take the chance? I may need a place to dry off later. For the record I live in Zone B, about a block from Zone A which was evacuated yesterday (375,000 people live in Zone A).

For the science geeks, that would be you Sean, Central Park already set a record for low pressure this morning. At 7 AM the pressure was at 946mb, the record low was 961mb on March 1, 1914. Sounds impressive but I have no idea what it means. Right now it's two hours away from high tide and the storm surge in the harbor is only one foot below Irene's worst. I know what that means and that isn't good at all. High tide tonight includes the full effects of the full moon.

The National Weather Service in New York just called Sandy "a worst case scenario" for the city. Going to be interesting to say the least.

Observations from the Window 10.26

the calm before the storm on flickr

You can probably guess that the main topic of conversation around here today has been the impending frankenstorm, snor'eastercane, or just plane big ass storm otherwise known as Hurricane Sandy for short.



At the moment I really don't have much to say about Sandy other than it's supposed to hit somewhere in the vicinity of New York in a few days. Personally I think it's bad karma because there have been altogether too many blizzards and hurricanes hitting the Village since I moved here but my brother swears it's just climate change in action.

Earlier today we were reading what I wrote last year during Hurricane Irene. Taken together the Irene posts are one of my most read series of posts so I thought I would take a look back here too. This wasn't my first post about Irene but I like it because it contains a very serious list of items we stocked for the storm. As I write this tonight I think the VQs are probably out buying the very same items. If you want to read the full series just click the Irene tag.

Saturday, August 27, 2011
Observations on Irene 8.26

I thought maybe I would take some early morning photos so I rode an empty subway train down to the soon to be forbidden zone of Battery Park. Truth be told I didn't take much of anything because it was just a cloudy dreary humid morning and on top of that the Starbucks was closed. If this is the calm before the storm I think I'll pass.

Irene came ashore in North Carolina around 7AM as a category 1 storm. The weakening doesn't change the situation much here as the problem is how long the storm will batter the city and how much water will be pushed into the harbor, the rivers, and down the street. Later today ConEd will decide if it is going to shutdown the power to lower Manhattan. Because the cables are all underground they are vulnerable to saltwater if they are in use but not if they aren't in use. Now I understand why there are no batteries to be found in the Village.

Everybody says be prepared so we stocked up with the following ...

One case of Corona, one case of Corona Light, and two bags of ice in the freezer. Multiple bottles of red and white wine because Ash can't decide which is the right one for a hurricane and one must follow the wine rules at all times.   A bag of limes and one bottle of Jose Cuervo Black Medallion tequila because one shouldn't ride out a big storm with cheap tequila.   One carton of Misty Menthol Ultra Lights otherwise known as Misty Silver under the theory that people think ultra-light smoke is healthy and will think silver isn't.   One carton of Marlboro Menthol 100s because Chloe isn't a lite weight like me and smokes a real cigarette, or so I am told.   New lighter to light those above named cigarettes.   Two camera and two laptop batteries charged.   A camping lantern and flashlights along with a jumbo pack of priceless D size batteries. The latter I am tempted to sell on the street because, well, they really are priceless right now.   My older digital camera packed in a towel and zip-lock bag. Don't ask on this one because I'm not going to tell.   Shit I forgot to get food.

A bit of worthless hurricane trivia that doesn't seem so worthless now. If the storm is a category 1 at ground level it is a category 2 ten stories up. I can hear the glass raining down already.

No subways running down below and it just started raining in the Village. I suppose this really is the calm before the storm. Let the games begin.

update - Due to some concern I would like to add that we have cookies, coffee, and two cases of bottled water too.

Observations on The 2012 Election 10.25

There are only 12 days left until the election but it's not too late to donate to one of the four state marriage equality campaigns and hopefully be part of history. Or you could donate nationally. I'm not one to beg, I'm more one to say why the hell not?

Maine, Why Marriage Matters
Maryland, Equality Maryland
Minnesota, Minnesotans United for All Families
Washington, Washington United for Marriage

Nationally, Human Rights Campaign

Observations 10.25

Marriage for All Families: Stories from Maryland

link

Published on Oct 23, 2012 by NewLeftMedia

The final of our four-part series made in each of the states that have marriage equality votes this November, this short shares the experiences of same-sex couples who want to get married in Maryland. They have the same challenges, responsibilities, and aspirations as any other couple, but they are strangers in the eyes of the law. That's why marriage equality is so important: it aligns personality reality with legal reality, as a simple matter of fairness.

The series is produced in association with The Four, a social media campaign to support marriage equality in Maine, Maryland, Minnesota, and Washington State. Learn more and get involved at TheFour.com.

Film produced by Chase Whiteside and Erick Stoll.
Music by Timmy's Work.

Observations 10.23

Marriage for All Families: Stories from Washington


link

Published on Oct 16, 2012 by NewLeftMedia

The third of our four-part series made in each of the states that have marriage equality votes this November, this short shares the experiences of same-sex couples who want to get married in Washington. They have the same challenges, responsibilities, and aspirations as any other couple, but they are strangers in the eyes of the law. That's why marriage equality is so important: it aligns personality reality with legal reality, as a simple matter of fairness.

The series is produced in association with The Four, a social media campaign to support marriage equality in Maine, Maryland, Minnesota, and Washington State. Learn more and get involved at TheFour.com.

Film produced by Chase Whiteside and Erick Stoll.
Music by Timmy's Work.

update - It was announced today that on October 15^th Bill and Melinda Gates donated $500,000 to Washington United for Marriage for its campaign to pass Ref74 which would uphold Washington's marriage equality law which brings the total amount raised for the campaign to almost $12 million. In the latest polls 57% of likely voters support the referendum despite the National Organization for Marriage pouring money into the state. Yesterday New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg a $250,000 matching donation to the campaign if the local organization could raise an equal amount.

Observations 10.22

Ash showed me an old blog post she thought I would like and I thought I would do my own version of it. I seem to have lost the link but I remember the quote by Robert Brault it started with; "Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." It was a list of the thirty little things that matter in her life, small things that normally get overlooked or are taken for granted. Hers was maybe a bit too faith based for my liking but still it was a good idea, for what it's worth here is my much shorter list. It was off the top of my head so don't give it more weight than it deserves.

The color black. Yeah I know, is black even a color? By definition black is a total lack of color because it absorbs all light and with it all color. I had an 'argument' with a professor once because I said if black absorbs all color isn't it a saturation, or combination, of them all? To this day I stick by my argument whenever I see him.

The color blue. Indigo, turquoise, and all 60 shades in between. Good coffee and music. The smile on the face of a total stranger. A warm bath with candles on a cold night. Cold nights. Art museums, granted this isn't a small thing or always cheap but it's my list and I love museums, all the paintings and the smell of old oil paints. Chili peppers.

I haven't had this happen in some time but that feeling I get when I work on a painting than suddenly step back and realized it's finished. You can't understand it unless its happened to you and photos don't count, I've found it just isn't the same.

A good movie, the kind you watch, go back to the beginning, and watch all over again. The moments before a snow storm when it is totally calm and quiet. Walking barefoot on a wet beach. Books, real paper in the hand type books. Getting the Sunday New York Times before the sun comes up, a weirdly priceless thing. Vintage photos. van Gogh. Paris.

My last two are in no way small things but I can't make any kind of list of this sort without mentioning them. Talking to a small group of close friends that have been with me for years, like my sisters. And finally, my family, always my family, any time I can spend with them. I should add I mean my immediate family and not the conservative branch that thinks I am the devil's daughter incarnate.

Did I mention politics? I thought so.

Observations 10.9

Marriage for All Families: Stories from Minnesota


link

Published on Oct 9, 2012 by NewLeftMedia

The second of a four-part series made in each of the states that have marriage equality votes this November, this short shares the experiences of same-sex couples who want to get married in Minnesota. They have the same challenges, responsibilities, and aspirations as any other couple, but they are strangers in the eyes of the law. That's why marriage equality is so important: it aligns personality reality with legal reality, as a simple matter of fairness.

The series is produced in association with The Four, a social media campaign to support marriage equality in Maine, Maryland, Minnesota, and Washington State. Learn more and get involved at TheFour.com


Film produced by Chase Whiteside and Erick Stoll.
Music by Timmy's Work.
See the first episode here.

Observations 10.7.1

I wanted to share a portion of a statement by the North Carolina National Guard on the death of Staff Sgt. Donna R. Johnson in Afghanistan. Any death is sad, made even sadder given the location, but the line I have italicized seems important to me because I don't remember seeing something like it before. It's the flip side of the photo I used in my post on the anniversary of the end of DADT.

North Carolina National Guard Press Release

Lt. Col. Robert Carver

Office of Public Affairs

October 4, 2012

RALEIGH, N.C. – Army Staff Sgt. Donna R. Johnson of the North Carolina Army National Guard’s 514th Military Police Company based in Winterville, N.C., died as a result of wounds sustained in a suicide bomber attack while on patrol in Afghanistan, on Monday, Oct. 1, 2012. Staff Sgt. Donna R. Johnson, 29, of Raeford, N.C., is survived by her mother and father Sandra and Philas Johnson, her sister Rene Albattrawi, her Nephew and Niece, Jason and Hannah Albattrawi
and by her Spouse Tracy Dice.... (Full Statement)

Donna and her wife Tracy were married on Valentines Day of this year just before her deployment to Afghanistan.

10/8 update - Just wanted to clarify myself a bit. I was excited, satisfied, proud (pick one) to see the word spouse used with no other same-sex explanation necessary, like it was totally normal, which is exactly how it should be and hopefully always will be going forward.