One of the things that I think separates the arts from some other fields, such as science and law, is how emotionally based it can be. So much art is created because of emotions, real or maybe imagined but still emotions. Take the emotion out of painting, acting, and even photography and most of the great performances or works of history wouldn't exist. Sometimes we create to teach, sometimes to purely shock, and sometimes just to vent those emotions.
I think this has totally been true all through time. Before the Renaissance most, if not all, western art was commissioned by the church and it mostly shows religious scenes. With the Renaissance came the first depictions of non-religious or even anti-religious things, the first time art had drifted away from the church in almost 500 years. And so shock and awe in the art world was born.
Jacques-Louis David's "The Death of Marat", Goya's "Executions of the Third of May, 1808", and Picasso's "Guernica" all tried to shock the public into an awareness of events of the times. And today we have the storm over the removal of David Wojnarowicz's film "A Fire in My Belly" from the Smithsonian's 'Hide/Seek' exhibit. The film was created after Wojnarowicz's lover died of AIDS and he himself was diagnosed with the disease. His response was anger and he used the anger to create the film.
This has been a way too long way for my art history brain to get to the point. Even though I hide it well I know my brain is fueled by emotion. I tend to act on them before the much smaller thinking part of my brain has a chance to override those emotions. I see something in my mind and create what I see before stopping to think how I might be making another person feel in the process. Not that I care how most people feel about what I do but there are a few people out there in the world that I do care about. Recently I did just that, and hurt the feelings of somebody I do care about.
And I am so sorry.
I really need to think sometimes but it so does my head hurt ....
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Thirty Days of Truths, Day 26
Have you ever thought about giving up on life?
If so, when and why ....
Well this is an easy, short, and simple one. The answer is yes.
For the second part of it, if you don't know by now just read back and you should be able to figure it out.
HIM - Join Me
If so, when and why ....
Well this is an easy, short, and simple one. The answer is yes.
For the second part of it, if you don't know by now just read back and you should be able to figure it out.
HIM - Join Me
Friday, December 17, 2010
Thirty Days of Truths, Day 25
The reason you believe you’re still alive today ....
I have thought about this a few times over the last seven years. When I finally reached the bottom of the dark hole I had dug for myself I was so far over the edge that I didn’t think there was a way for me to climb back out. So sometimes I honestly do think about this.
The problem is I don't know if I have ever come up with an answer to the question. Or maybe there is an answer and I just have never found it. But I don’t think anybody who is honest with themselves can answer this. How could you ever know? Maybe I’m just taking the meaning of this far too literally because I have been so far down. I sometimes have thought that I have no right to be alive, that I burned all the chips I started with when I was born. It's just one of those dark thoughts I tend to have that I have learned to live with.
In a more real sense I am alive because of my family. My dad stuck by me through the worst of times and that thought keeps me going when I'm down now. I'll always be grateful to him for that fact because I know people who can’t say the same about their families. Sometimes it drives me because I have this need to prove to myself or to him that I was worth it. Than I have my brother and sis who for some odd unfathomable reason always seem to look up to me for the answer. I never quite understand this because I always seem to have few answers and only more questions. But than maybe that is what they are looking for.
I guess you like to think that when you are born you have a chance to accomplish anything you want in life. Sometimes it works out that way and sometimes, probably most times, it doesn't. So you do the best you can and hope that somewhere somebody is proud of you.
Free Hugs Campaign - music by Sick Puppies
I have thought about this a few times over the last seven years. When I finally reached the bottom of the dark hole I had dug for myself I was so far over the edge that I didn’t think there was a way for me to climb back out. So sometimes I honestly do think about this.
The problem is I don't know if I have ever come up with an answer to the question. Or maybe there is an answer and I just have never found it. But I don’t think anybody who is honest with themselves can answer this. How could you ever know? Maybe I’m just taking the meaning of this far too literally because I have been so far down. I sometimes have thought that I have no right to be alive, that I burned all the chips I started with when I was born. It's just one of those dark thoughts I tend to have that I have learned to live with.
In a more real sense I am alive because of my family. My dad stuck by me through the worst of times and that thought keeps me going when I'm down now. I'll always be grateful to him for that fact because I know people who can’t say the same about their families. Sometimes it drives me because I have this need to prove to myself or to him that I was worth it. Than I have my brother and sis who for some odd unfathomable reason always seem to look up to me for the answer. I never quite understand this because I always seem to have few answers and only more questions. But than maybe that is what they are looking for.
I guess you like to think that when you are born you have a chance to accomplish anything you want in life. Sometimes it works out that way and sometimes, probably most times, it doesn't. So you do the best you can and hope that somewhere somebody is proud of you.
Free Hugs Campaign - music by Sick Puppies
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Observations from the Window 12.15
I’m just taking a little break from the ‘truths’ here because I’m struggling a bit over these next two. Life, death, and taxes just scare the hell out of me. On top of that I have my horoscope telling me turmoil will swirl around me for the rest of the month. Not that I believe in horoscopes, their just karma’s bad relation, but it seems to be the way it always goes for me this time of year.
The world that is mine just seems a bit turned upside down at the moment. I never got back to my sister’s big Thanksgiving news for the family. She wants to, is going to, join the Navy. Go to photography school there than go to art school when she gets out. While I now think she is as totally insane as her older sister I am still proud of her for thinking it all through on her own. I’ll leave it at that before I end up getting myself in trouble.
Than you have the non artsie member of the triumvirate. My brother graduates from Penn State this weekend ending a long run for us in the mountains. But the little shit has decided he doesn’t want to go to the graduation ceremonies in person. I say little shit in the best possible way because he is six inches taller than me, though I still think I could take him though. I just think he should go to graduation like I did and just sneak a bottle of champagne in under his gown. It isn’t as if the TSA is going to pat him down on the way to the stage.
On top of all this is the normal end of the year Christmas emo mood that I fall into. As always I feel it tug at me, start to pull me down, as Christmas gets nearer and nearer. But I’m going to fight it this year no matter how much alcohol it takes. After all I have a turkey to make and I found a totally kewl recipe for jalapeno cranberry relish that should put some unexpected bite into Christmas dinner. I guess I really should start shopping though, the clock is suddenly ticking faster.
It’s enough to make this tall bish throw up her hands and scream.
But not yet anyway. Not yet ….
Robert Earl Keene - Merry Christmas From The Family
Not that I am going to start posting xMas tunes but that is effing classic. I remember the first time Sean and I saw it, we just had to watch it over and over.
The world that is mine just seems a bit turned upside down at the moment. I never got back to my sister’s big Thanksgiving news for the family. She wants to, is going to, join the Navy. Go to photography school there than go to art school when she gets out. While I now think she is as totally insane as her older sister I am still proud of her for thinking it all through on her own. I’ll leave it at that before I end up getting myself in trouble.
Than you have the non artsie member of the triumvirate. My brother graduates from Penn State this weekend ending a long run for us in the mountains. But the little shit has decided he doesn’t want to go to the graduation ceremonies in person. I say little shit in the best possible way because he is six inches taller than me, though I still think I could take him though. I just think he should go to graduation like I did and just sneak a bottle of champagne in under his gown. It isn’t as if the TSA is going to pat him down on the way to the stage.
On top of all this is the normal end of the year Christmas emo mood that I fall into. As always I feel it tug at me, start to pull me down, as Christmas gets nearer and nearer. But I’m going to fight it this year no matter how much alcohol it takes. After all I have a turkey to make and I found a totally kewl recipe for jalapeno cranberry relish that should put some unexpected bite into Christmas dinner. I guess I really should start shopping though, the clock is suddenly ticking faster.
It’s enough to make this tall bish throw up her hands and scream.
But not yet anyway. Not yet ….
Robert Earl Keene - Merry Christmas From The Family
Not that I am going to start posting xMas tunes but that is effing classic. I remember the first time Sean and I saw it, we just had to watch it over and over.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Thirty Days of Truths, Day 24
Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose to use
all the songs ....
Again this is supposed to be in letter form but decided not to do anything like that and I'm not going to explain the choices or say who the playlist is for. I know, I'm just no fun at all anymore. This is a condensed version of a playlist I already have on iTunes. It isn't so much that each song means something to me but the playlist as a whole does. All these tunes remind me of somebody and I'll leave it for that person to figure out.
Hey Pretty - Poe
The Scientist - Coldplay
Better - Regina Spektor
Sidedish Friend - Rachael Yamagata
Sex On Fire - Kings Of Leon
Bed of Black Roses - I Hate Kate
Crazy - Gnarls Barkley
Edge of the Ocean - Ivy
Lonely Day - System of Down
Leave Me Alone (I'm Lonely) - Pink
Read My Mind - The Killers
Hurt - Johnny Cash
When The Stars Go Blue - The Corrs ft. Bono
Nightswimming - REM
Sick Muse - Metric
Rebel Girl - Bikini Kill
Enjoy The Silence - Lacuna Coil
Skinny Little Bitch - Hole
Wonderful Tonight - Eric Clapton
The Story - Brandi Carlile
It's just a little journey through time, enjoy ....
the Playlist
all the songs ....
Again this is supposed to be in letter form but decided not to do anything like that and I'm not going to explain the choices or say who the playlist is for. I know, I'm just no fun at all anymore. This is a condensed version of a playlist I already have on iTunes. It isn't so much that each song means something to me but the playlist as a whole does. All these tunes remind me of somebody and I'll leave it for that person to figure out.
Hey Pretty - Poe
The Scientist - Coldplay
Better - Regina Spektor
Sidedish Friend - Rachael Yamagata
Sex On Fire - Kings Of Leon
Bed of Black Roses - I Hate Kate
Crazy - Gnarls Barkley
Edge of the Ocean - Ivy
Lonely Day - System of Down
Leave Me Alone (I'm Lonely) - Pink
Read My Mind - The Killers
Hurt - Johnny Cash
When The Stars Go Blue - The Corrs ft. Bono
Nightswimming - REM
Sick Muse - Metric
Rebel Girl - Bikini Kill
Enjoy The Silence - Lacuna Coil
Skinny Little Bitch - Hole
Wonderful Tonight - Eric Clapton
The Story - Brandi Carlile
It's just a little journey through time, enjoy ....
the Playlist
Thirty Days of Truths, Day 23
Something I wish you I done in my life ....
It seems I got past that drug and alcohol post only to trip up on these two could have would have posts. I have to come up with something here because I used up my list option on the last one. Something I wish I had done seems so much harder than the something I want to do question.
My answer is something that came to mind watching my sister in the field hockey playoffs. Sometimes I do wish I had been just a little bit less arrogant in high school. I don't look back on those years as anything really positive and I don't talk to anybody from than other than my hockey coach and that is more because of my sister than anything else.
Maybe times changed some in the ten years between us but my sis just seems to handle it all so much better. I was just so cocky and arrogant and wasn't going to let anybody see any little crack in my armor. I was that dark gloomy (omg!) lesbian on the hockey team and I thrived on it. Looking back I could have handled it so much better but I really did enjoy living on that edge. It was who I was and I guess who I still am so really this is all worthless dribble because I probably would do it the same all over again.
I just think that if I hadn't left high school with the uber chip on my shoulder I might have handled my mom's cancer better and a lot of things might have been different. Than again I wouldn't so much to write about would I?
It is what it is ....
(Only seven more! I can so do this by Christmas.)
It seems I got past that drug and alcohol post only to trip up on these two could have would have posts. I have to come up with something here because I used up my list option on the last one. Something I wish I had done seems so much harder than the something I want to do question.
My answer is something that came to mind watching my sister in the field hockey playoffs. Sometimes I do wish I had been just a little bit less arrogant in high school. I don't look back on those years as anything really positive and I don't talk to anybody from than other than my hockey coach and that is more because of my sister than anything else.
Maybe times changed some in the ten years between us but my sis just seems to handle it all so much better. I was just so cocky and arrogant and wasn't going to let anybody see any little crack in my armor. I was that dark gloomy (omg!) lesbian on the hockey team and I thrived on it. Looking back I could have handled it so much better but I really did enjoy living on that edge. It was who I was and I guess who I still am so really this is all worthless dribble because I probably would do it the same all over again.
I just think that if I hadn't left high school with the uber chip on my shoulder I might have handled my mom's cancer better and a lot of things might have been different. Than again I wouldn't so much to write about would I?
It is what it is ....
(Only seven more! I can so do this by Christmas.)
Friday, December 10, 2010
Thirty Days of Truths, Day 22
Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life ....
Christ does it have to be something I haven't already mentioned? I'm not sure thinking about what you wish you hadn't done in your life is the best use of time but I'll give it a shot anyway. Can I make a list?
I wish that I hadn't sat on Santa's lap when I was three and, well, OK I puked on Santa. I have yet to live that one down and for some reason it seems to come up every year at this time. Rumor has it that there are pics floating around too. Now there might be a few things I have done in my life that I don't want to become public knowledge but those pics I would kill for.
In something totally second life related I wish that when I first started I had known it was quite possible to have two hairs on at the same time. Actually I wish somebody had told me I had two hairs on at the same time instead of probably laughing their asses off. Believe me I remember and I took names. It may take years but I'll get even at some point so be careful opening that Christmas card this year.
I wish that I hadn't slid my car into a ditch that night. More than that I wish I hadn't given the police officer that found me a rude gesture. I'm not going to say what the gesture was but if you look around this page you might just find it. Needless to say he wasn't that thrilled about it and not surprisingly neither was my dad when I called him from the local lock up.
And finally I wish I hadn't punched that guy in the bar the night he called me a dyke. How did I know I was going to lay him out with one punch? Worse than that was the fact I had to call Ash to bail me out of jail. This is yet another thing I am never going to live down because she never lets me forget that she was the one who had to bail me out. To this day I feel so bad thinking about the embarrassment he must of felt being knocked down in public by of all things a tall skinny dyke.
So there you have my wish I hadn't done list.
Alright so I lied about the last one. Actually it was one of the proudest moments of my life. I mean seriously my dykes can call me a dyke, my friends can call me a dyke, but no asshole in a bar is going to call me a dyke and get away with it. Jail time is but a small price to pay.
Christ does it have to be something I haven't already mentioned? I'm not sure thinking about what you wish you hadn't done in your life is the best use of time but I'll give it a shot anyway. Can I make a list?
I wish that I hadn't sat on Santa's lap when I was three and, well, OK I puked on Santa. I have yet to live that one down and for some reason it seems to come up every year at this time. Rumor has it that there are pics floating around too. Now there might be a few things I have done in my life that I don't want to become public knowledge but those pics I would kill for.
In something totally second life related I wish that when I first started I had known it was quite possible to have two hairs on at the same time. Actually I wish somebody had told me I had two hairs on at the same time instead of probably laughing their asses off. Believe me I remember and I took names. It may take years but I'll get even at some point so be careful opening that Christmas card this year.
I wish that I hadn't slid my car into a ditch that night. More than that I wish I hadn't given the police officer that found me a rude gesture. I'm not going to say what the gesture was but if you look around this page you might just find it. Needless to say he wasn't that thrilled about it and not surprisingly neither was my dad when I called him from the local lock up.
And finally I wish I hadn't punched that guy in the bar the night he called me a dyke. How did I know I was going to lay him out with one punch? Worse than that was the fact I had to call Ash to bail me out of jail. This is yet another thing I am never going to live down because she never lets me forget that she was the one who had to bail me out. To this day I feel so bad thinking about the embarrassment he must of felt being knocked down in public by of all things a tall skinny dyke.
So there you have my wish I hadn't done list.
Alright so I lied about the last one. Actually it was one of the proudest moments of my life. I mean seriously my dykes can call me a dyke, my friends can call me a dyke, but no asshole in a bar is going to call me a dyke and get away with it. Jail time is but a small price to pay.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Thirty Days of Truths, Day 21
Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do ....
This is one of those things that are just about impossible to answer. I mean seriously you can say how you think you will react, how you hope you would react, but really you have no way of knowing how you will react until it happens. There are just too many damn variables that come into play and this doesn't tell you a damn thing.
Worst case scenario is it was a stupid fight, she lost control of her car in a one car accident, and it was fatal. I know I can be awfully grim when I want to be. I see a lot of tequila and tears in this scenario but I only mention it to prove my point. I've tried to be honest in all these 'truths' but in this one you just have no way of knowing until it happens and hopefully I never have to find out. And that is my honest answer.
Next
This is one of those things that are just about impossible to answer. I mean seriously you can say how you think you will react, how you hope you would react, but really you have no way of knowing how you will react until it happens. There are just too many damn variables that come into play and this doesn't tell you a damn thing.
Worst case scenario is it was a stupid fight, she lost control of her car in a one car accident, and it was fatal. I know I can be awfully grim when I want to be. I see a lot of tequila and tears in this scenario but I only mention it to prove my point. I've tried to be honest in all these 'truths' but in this one you just have no way of knowing until it happens and hopefully I never have to find out. And that is my honest answer.
Next
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Thirty Days of Truths, Day 20
My views on drugs and alcohol ....
The one I have dreaded since the beginning, really before I even started. It would be so easy just to say screw it and not answer this one. I don't even know where to begin with this.
I can start with my own litany of drugs. I have used alcohol and smoked since high school, had and addiction to cocaine, spent time in rehab, and had a few legal problems. I said had an addiction to cocaine even though I know that once you are an addict you always are one. I should add that I would die without caffeine and I have been known to smoke a certain herb that looks surprisingly like oregano. I seem to have a love hate relationship with drugs. I know I drink too much but I like to drink and I also know I shouldn't smoke but I have to admit it's my crutch. I have tried to quit a few times in the last ten years and it just doesn't happen owing to the fact that deep down I need to smoke, I need the crutch.
My views? I'm not so sure that I have any views on the subject that matter. I am far from the one to damn anybody for using any hard drugs because I've been too far down that road myself. But for now I don't let myself be around people that do use because I just won’t let myself be tempted again. Not that I haven't been offered some, I have, but not by friends or even acquaintances and so far I have reacted more with revulsion than with temptation. I lost two months of my life because of cocaine and rehab. Two months I barely remember and never am going to get back to that. I wouldn't wish it on anybody.
Yet I could give you a list of reasons I used coke, excuses actually. Excuses I would tell myself over and over again every day. People just didn't understand me, they don't have my problems, or my loss. I'm just using it to calm my head until I don't need it anymore and than I'll quit. I can still function, drive, and nobody seems to even notice. In my deepest darkest days I figured I was going to die anyway so why did it matter at all. And I believed every one of my excuses until it was too late.
And finally there is the artistic angle. This tends to cause more debate than any of the so called excuses do. When I paint I drink it's that simple, it's how I paint, sometimes I don't eat just drink and smoke and paint. When I was in rehab I had a therapist who tried telling me over and over that I only thought I needed alcohol to paint. He said that if I stopped drinking I would find that I was just as creative or even more so. Not long out of rehab I had my own final therapy in painting what I consider one of my best works. In the process I drank two bottles of tequila. The other side of all this is the fact that when I was using cocaine I didn't create anything. Not a painting, not a sketch, not even a single photo I know of. The artsie part of my brain just shut down so completely that I thought it was gone.
So there are my thoughts on drugs and alcohol if not my views. I’ll add a quote because I love quotes, it’s one of my favs, and it fits ....
"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me."
Hunter S. Thompson
Except when they don't ....
30 Seconds To Mars - Attack
The one I have dreaded since the beginning, really before I even started. It would be so easy just to say screw it and not answer this one. I don't even know where to begin with this.
I can start with my own litany of drugs. I have used alcohol and smoked since high school, had and addiction to cocaine, spent time in rehab, and had a few legal problems. I said had an addiction to cocaine even though I know that once you are an addict you always are one. I should add that I would die without caffeine and I have been known to smoke a certain herb that looks surprisingly like oregano. I seem to have a love hate relationship with drugs. I know I drink too much but I like to drink and I also know I shouldn't smoke but I have to admit it's my crutch. I have tried to quit a few times in the last ten years and it just doesn't happen owing to the fact that deep down I need to smoke, I need the crutch.
My views? I'm not so sure that I have any views on the subject that matter. I am far from the one to damn anybody for using any hard drugs because I've been too far down that road myself. But for now I don't let myself be around people that do use because I just won’t let myself be tempted again. Not that I haven't been offered some, I have, but not by friends or even acquaintances and so far I have reacted more with revulsion than with temptation. I lost two months of my life because of cocaine and rehab. Two months I barely remember and never am going to get back to that. I wouldn't wish it on anybody.
Yet I could give you a list of reasons I used coke, excuses actually. Excuses I would tell myself over and over again every day. People just didn't understand me, they don't have my problems, or my loss. I'm just using it to calm my head until I don't need it anymore and than I'll quit. I can still function, drive, and nobody seems to even notice. In my deepest darkest days I figured I was going to die anyway so why did it matter at all. And I believed every one of my excuses until it was too late.
And finally there is the artistic angle. This tends to cause more debate than any of the so called excuses do. When I paint I drink it's that simple, it's how I paint, sometimes I don't eat just drink and smoke and paint. When I was in rehab I had a therapist who tried telling me over and over that I only thought I needed alcohol to paint. He said that if I stopped drinking I would find that I was just as creative or even more so. Not long out of rehab I had my own final therapy in painting what I consider one of my best works. In the process I drank two bottles of tequila. The other side of all this is the fact that when I was using cocaine I didn't create anything. Not a painting, not a sketch, not even a single photo I know of. The artsie part of my brain just shut down so completely that I thought it was gone.
So there are my thoughts on drugs and alcohol if not my views. I’ll add a quote because I love quotes, it’s one of my favs, and it fits ....
"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me."
Hunter S. Thompson
Except when they don't ....
30 Seconds To Mars - Attack
Monday, December 6, 2010
Observations from the Window 12.6
I seem to have a new addiction. Writing ....
I have the day off so I spent the whole morning in bed cuddling my blankets and drinking coffee. I mean seriously it's cold outside. I finally managed to pull on big baggy sweater and drag myself to the window only to find, well, it looks cold outside. I haven't mentioned my vendor in sometime but I am looking down now and dude has snow shovels. I didn't need to see that.
So why did I say I'm addicted to writing? Because I should be food shopping or Christmas shopping but I'm sitting in the window writing instead. Christmas shopping I can do without because Christmas is a downer for me anyway but I need food. Right now the entire contents of our fridge consists a twelve pack of Corona, assorted cheeses, milk, eggs, hummus, and a few bottles of wine. Might be some butter in there too but I'm not quite sure. I don't see Whole Foods coming to me so I'm going to have to go to it but it's cold outside and now there are snow flurries to go with it.
I'm drinking like my sixth cup of coffee, watching the Prop 8 hearings, and writing. Writing this and that damn drugs and alcohol post that is next. The Prop 8 hearings make no sense to me at all. I think it's all finally beyond my limited ability to understand the law. But omg this lawyer arguing the pro Prop 8 case actually just said this. The current definition of marriage is same as it has been since beginning of time, around the world, to make babies. He said that same sex couples cannot procreate without a third party and that’s the rational basis for denying them the right to marry. Otherwise we are left with marriage as just an empty word meaning nothing. God what a fucking idiot. I have to turn it off before I totally lose it and smash my TV.
The whole point I was going to get at was that not only do I like writing but suddenly I felt the need to write. I suppose it's better than needing a cigarette. Besides it's too cold to smoke outside.
No vid but to get the full effect hum Dean Martin's "Baby It's Cold Outside" to yourself.
I have the day off so I spent the whole morning in bed cuddling my blankets and drinking coffee. I mean seriously it's cold outside. I finally managed to pull on big baggy sweater and drag myself to the window only to find, well, it looks cold outside. I haven't mentioned my vendor in sometime but I am looking down now and dude has snow shovels. I didn't need to see that.
So why did I say I'm addicted to writing? Because I should be food shopping or Christmas shopping but I'm sitting in the window writing instead. Christmas shopping I can do without because Christmas is a downer for me anyway but I need food. Right now the entire contents of our fridge consists a twelve pack of Corona, assorted cheeses, milk, eggs, hummus, and a few bottles of wine. Might be some butter in there too but I'm not quite sure. I don't see Whole Foods coming to me so I'm going to have to go to it but it's cold outside and now there are snow flurries to go with it.
I'm drinking like my sixth cup of coffee, watching the Prop 8 hearings, and writing. Writing this and that damn drugs and alcohol post that is next. The Prop 8 hearings make no sense to me at all. I think it's all finally beyond my limited ability to understand the law. But omg this lawyer arguing the pro Prop 8 case actually just said this. The current definition of marriage is same as it has been since beginning of time, around the world, to make babies. He said that same sex couples cannot procreate without a third party and that’s the rational basis for denying them the right to marry. Otherwise we are left with marriage as just an empty word meaning nothing. God what a fucking idiot. I have to turn it off before I totally lose it and smash my TV.
The whole point I was going to get at was that not only do I like writing but suddenly I felt the need to write. I suppose it's better than needing a cigarette. Besides it's too cold to smoke outside.
No vid but to get the full effect hum Dean Martin's "Baby It's Cold Outside" to yourself.
Thirty Days of Truths, The Pause
Why the pause? Well I could go with my brain is tired but that isn't really the case. I looked to see what was next and found I had finally run into the wall I had been dreading. The next 'truth' is my thoughts on drugs and alcohol and honestly it doesn't look like it gets any easier after that.
I was thinking about the whole thing yesterday and realized something. The more 'truths' I go through the more they seem to weave together in my head. Maybe it's just me or maybe that is how it's supposed to be, either way it's kind of intriguing to me. One day leads into another and I find myself thinking about a question with everything that came before still in my head. It's just different than how I normally write or think. Usually I concentrate my few living brain cells on one subject than write or rant and move on to the next thing. But these questions all seem to linger in my head.
I only started this because it looked like a fun idea and I didn't plan on getting as into it as I have. But all in all it has been fun so far. I have thought about a few things I never normally would have thought about. The fatalist thing is really something I have never put into words before, it's not something I ever felt the need to talk about. Than that wound right into another subject I shy away from, religion.
So I started out taking a break but instead I'm rambling here. Now that is totally how I usually think and write.
Bad Religion - American Jesus
I was thinking about the whole thing yesterday and realized something. The more 'truths' I go through the more they seem to weave together in my head. Maybe it's just me or maybe that is how it's supposed to be, either way it's kind of intriguing to me. One day leads into another and I find myself thinking about a question with everything that came before still in my head. It's just different than how I normally write or think. Usually I concentrate my few living brain cells on one subject than write or rant and move on to the next thing. But these questions all seem to linger in my head.
I only started this because it looked like a fun idea and I didn't plan on getting as into it as I have. But all in all it has been fun so far. I have thought about a few things I never normally would have thought about. The fatalist thing is really something I have never put into words before, it's not something I ever felt the need to talk about. Than that wound right into another subject I shy away from, religion.
So I started out taking a break but instead I'm rambling here. Now that is totally how I usually think and write.
Bad Religion - American Jesus
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Thirty Days of Truths, Day 19
My thoughts on religion ....
Oh religion, something I don't think I have ever mentioned before. If there is a topic one shouldn't write about its religion because you are sure to offend somebody along the way. So I'm going to say ahead of time I don't mean to offend anybody. These are just my personal thoughts and also it isn't something I think about much so it’s really just off the top of my head.
At one time I did attend a church every Sunday morning, did Sunday school in my little print dress, but I was but a wee thing back than. My mom wanted a well rounded girl but gave it up about the time I insisted on wearing jeans to church. That would have been about the same time my rebelliousness set in, along with the first inklings of my sexuality, and I realized I just didn't belong there.
I have never called myself an atheist or an agnostic, really I never call myself anything. Is there a God? If I have to answer that my answer is no. Is there some power in control of the universe? It gets a little tricky here because I do believe in fate, I think many things happen for a reason and at times you don't have much control over it. What happens when I die? Honest answer is I'm thinking worm food but than I also believe in ghosts so I'm not so sure. To be safe I want to buried in a wooden box because I don't want to spend eternity trapped in some overpriced metal box with no tunes and poor ventilation.
When you talk about organized religion I get a little bit harsher. On the positive side some of the greatest works of art and architecture have been created in the name of one religion or another. But on the negative side more people have died in the name of one god or another than for any other reason. Christians killing Muslims killing Jews in Crusades or Jihads or Inquisitions all through history and all in the name of the 'same' god. Sunnis killing Shias killing Jews killing Catholics killing Lutherans and on and on. The Middle East has been a religious killing ground since time began and probably will remain that until time ends. No religion can even begin to claim it doesn't have a bloody past.
Marx called religion the opiate of the people and to a certain degree he was right. What most people don't realize is what he meant by it by that. I had a professor who explained that Marx wasn't thinking of it as the church clouding peoples minds but more as the church comforting people in their times of need. The church itself is a quandary to me, it can do so much good at the local level and yet be so terrible at a higher level. Just politics with a different name I suppose.
Perhaps Gandhi said it better. "God has no religion."
Oh religion, something I don't think I have ever mentioned before. If there is a topic one shouldn't write about its religion because you are sure to offend somebody along the way. So I'm going to say ahead of time I don't mean to offend anybody. These are just my personal thoughts and also it isn't something I think about much so it’s really just off the top of my head.
At one time I did attend a church every Sunday morning, did Sunday school in my little print dress, but I was but a wee thing back than. My mom wanted a well rounded girl but gave it up about the time I insisted on wearing jeans to church. That would have been about the same time my rebelliousness set in, along with the first inklings of my sexuality, and I realized I just didn't belong there.
I have never called myself an atheist or an agnostic, really I never call myself anything. Is there a God? If I have to answer that my answer is no. Is there some power in control of the universe? It gets a little tricky here because I do believe in fate, I think many things happen for a reason and at times you don't have much control over it. What happens when I die? Honest answer is I'm thinking worm food but than I also believe in ghosts so I'm not so sure. To be safe I want to buried in a wooden box because I don't want to spend eternity trapped in some overpriced metal box with no tunes and poor ventilation.
When you talk about organized religion I get a little bit harsher. On the positive side some of the greatest works of art and architecture have been created in the name of one religion or another. But on the negative side more people have died in the name of one god or another than for any other reason. Christians killing Muslims killing Jews in Crusades or Jihads or Inquisitions all through history and all in the name of the 'same' god. Sunnis killing Shias killing Jews killing Catholics killing Lutherans and on and on. The Middle East has been a religious killing ground since time began and probably will remain that until time ends. No religion can even begin to claim it doesn't have a bloody past.
Marx called religion the opiate of the people and to a certain degree he was right. What most people don't realize is what he meant by it by that. I had a professor who explained that Marx wasn't thinking of it as the church clouding peoples minds but more as the church comforting people in their times of need. The church itself is a quandary to me, it can do so much good at the local level and yet be so terrible at a higher level. Just politics with a different name I suppose.
Perhaps Gandhi said it better. "God has no religion."
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Observations from the Coffee Shop 12.4
I really want to write something about the DADT hearings and my 'tard in chief' Senator John McCain. But it seems the writing part of my brain is overloaded and burning out on the "Thirty Days of Truths" posts so I'll have to pass for now. I totally think I have a good rant in my head waiting to get out but it just isn't happening right now.
I saw this on "Daily Show" yesterday and really no rant of mine is even going to compare to this. It's just classic, enjoy.
I saw this on "Daily Show" yesterday and really no rant of mine is even going to compare to this. It's just classic, enjoy.
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| Gaypocalypse Now | ||||
| ||||
Thirty Days of Truths, Day 18
My views on gay marriage ....
So I'm thinking whoever originally came up with the '30 Truths' wasn't gay and thought this would be much more telling and maybe controversial on top of it. Alas you probably know or suspect my views on gay marriage already but I'll try and voice them a little less emotionally than I have before.
To me it's a simple question of equality. Yes I am a lesbian and I am proud of that fact. At the same time I am a human being and supposedly all of us are created equal. Yet it always seems that some people are more equal than others. I never seriously think about getting married myself but for somebody to tell me it doesn't matter what I think, that I don't have that option, that I don't have that right, well it just totally pisses me off.
What I have never understood is why it even matters to these people. What world shattering threat does it pose if two people of the same sex love each other and want to get married? Does it really have any effect on their life at all? I mean seriously how does it effect them? Why do they care? I'd love for somebody to answer those questions for me.
One of the main reasons for denying marriage to gay couples seems to be that all major religions consider homosexuality a sin. But we aren't talking about religious marriage here. If a church doesn't want to marry gay couples so be it, their loss. I can only begin to imagine the floral displays they are missing out on. Anyway the First Amendment of the Constitution says that a person's religious views or lack thereof must be protected. Marriage by the state is a secular activity and the government can't start making laws just because a religion says they should. What would be next?
So that is my calm, rational, and legalistic answer. If that was too boring you can check out the more emotional ones I have written before (l).
I know it's a cliché but honestly if you don't like gay marriage just don't fucking have one.
So I'm thinking whoever originally came up with the '30 Truths' wasn't gay and thought this would be much more telling and maybe controversial on top of it. Alas you probably know or suspect my views on gay marriage already but I'll try and voice them a little less emotionally than I have before.
To me it's a simple question of equality. Yes I am a lesbian and I am proud of that fact. At the same time I am a human being and supposedly all of us are created equal. Yet it always seems that some people are more equal than others. I never seriously think about getting married myself but for somebody to tell me it doesn't matter what I think, that I don't have that option, that I don't have that right, well it just totally pisses me off.
What I have never understood is why it even matters to these people. What world shattering threat does it pose if two people of the same sex love each other and want to get married? Does it really have any effect on their life at all? I mean seriously how does it effect them? Why do they care? I'd love for somebody to answer those questions for me.
One of the main reasons for denying marriage to gay couples seems to be that all major religions consider homosexuality a sin. But we aren't talking about religious marriage here. If a church doesn't want to marry gay couples so be it, their loss. I can only begin to imagine the floral displays they are missing out on. Anyway the First Amendment of the Constitution says that a person's religious views or lack thereof must be protected. Marriage by the state is a secular activity and the government can't start making laws just because a religion says they should. What would be next?
So that is my calm, rational, and legalistic answer. If that was too boring you can check out the more emotional ones I have written before (l).
I know it's a cliché but honestly if you don't like gay marriage just don't fucking have one.
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