A couple of days ago Ash and I went to a sort of meeting after work. The who or why of the meeting isn't very important but the where I found intriguing. We had dinner at this little lesbian bar that is only a couple blocks from the gallery. I had passed it many times before but had never stepped inside because it looks like a dive from the outside and I had no idea what to expect. Now I have to be honest here and say that yes i have been in lesbian bars before, maybe more than once, but never one like this.
(Suddenly I feel as if every male reader I have just left the room.)
It was just so different than any i have been in before. You enter the bar up a steep flight of steps that is just long enough to keep nosy NYU students from checking in. Once you are inside you find everything is a deep yet bright red in a style that reminds you of a bad movie version of the late Soviet empire. The walls, the leather bar chairs, even the matchbooks on the bar are red. So part of what makes it so different is the style.
But more than the style it was the people in the bar that gave it such an intriguing feel. Maybe having a theatre above it explained some of that but I'm not sure. The best way to explain it is this. The people in the bar totally reminded me of the corner bar I go to to watch sports with a major difference. Everybody inside was a lesbian, or pretending to be one for the night, and I never experienced that in this type of bar before.
As I sat chatting I started to compare the clientele here with other small bars and every role was here. The boyfriend, the girlfriend, the protector, the whore, the lawyer, and the working class person all in a mix of the glamorous, the sexy, the tomboy, and the butch. Honestly I never saw anything quite like it and for some reason it made me feel proud. The world may be changing but it was nice to see this little piece of it carved out of it for us. I may never set foot in the place again but it's nice to know it's there.
One thing I didn't find out till later was that the building is supposedly one of the most haunted spots in New York. Maybe that was where my strange feeling was coming from all along.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Observations from the Window 1.4
Now that the truths and holidays are gone I don’t know what to write so I think it is time to get back to writing whatever seems to be on mind. Off the top of my head is the fact that I look out the window the Village is just an ugly grey. This time of year the sun seems to take forever to reach into the canyons so the lighting is just a dull grey that matches the color of the snow now. It doesn’t make me want to jump out the door with a big smile on my face but a third cup of coffee might help with that. Well it can’t hurt.
Sometimes it’s amazing how you can find a lost love in a totally unexpected place. I have said before how much I love to read, how I used to devour books. I got away from that over the years not so much because I didn’t want to read but because I have my fingers in so many things I just didn’t have the time. Over Christmas I watched the movie “Angels and Demons” with my brother. Not a bad movie at all but not anywhere near as good as “The Da Vinci Code” however that doesn’t matter here. This past weekend I was home again and my dad had a copy of Dan Brown’s “The Lost Symbol” sitting on a table. I picked it up just to occupy my mind and ended up reading all 700 pages in just a few days. I never would have looked at the book on Amazon or in a bookstore but I loved it, devoured it. Now I have no clue what to read but I really don’t want to let that feeling get away. I also have to figure out how I’m going to get this book back to my dad before he realizes it’s missing.
In a totally related matter Snooki’s book is being released today but “A Shore Thing” is one book I know I won’t be reading. Not even if somebody ties my down with my feet over a fire. If this isn’t a sign that the end of the world is upon us I have no idea what is. My New Years wish was for that the faux crystal ball holding her in Sea Side Heights to fall crashing to the beach. Not that I wanted to see her hurt but it would have been totally cool to see that ball rolling down the beach with her in it. From what I know about the Jersey shore I think I’m safe in saying the residents of SSH would have enjoyed it just as much as I would have.
Than there is Lady Gaga who tweeted a photo of her ass to accompany the announcement of the release date of her new album and I totally missed it. I even saw the tweet originally but didn’t look until I was asked about it by a friend. All I can say is if the album is anywhere near as sweet as her ass she has another hit. I can’t believe I just wrote that!
And so blog year two begins with a bundle of randomness that I doubt anybody wants to read but I have to start somewhere and I'm still trying to purge the truths from my brain. That and ESPN has yet to call so now I'm shooting for Michael Musto’s job at the Village Voice.
Life goes on ....
My Chemical Romance - Na Na Na
Sometimes it’s amazing how you can find a lost love in a totally unexpected place. I have said before how much I love to read, how I used to devour books. I got away from that over the years not so much because I didn’t want to read but because I have my fingers in so many things I just didn’t have the time. Over Christmas I watched the movie “Angels and Demons” with my brother. Not a bad movie at all but not anywhere near as good as “The Da Vinci Code” however that doesn’t matter here. This past weekend I was home again and my dad had a copy of Dan Brown’s “The Lost Symbol” sitting on a table. I picked it up just to occupy my mind and ended up reading all 700 pages in just a few days. I never would have looked at the book on Amazon or in a bookstore but I loved it, devoured it. Now I have no clue what to read but I really don’t want to let that feeling get away. I also have to figure out how I’m going to get this book back to my dad before he realizes it’s missing.
In a totally related matter Snooki’s book is being released today but “A Shore Thing” is one book I know I won’t be reading. Not even if somebody ties my down with my feet over a fire. If this isn’t a sign that the end of the world is upon us I have no idea what is. My New Years wish was for that the faux crystal ball holding her in Sea Side Heights to fall crashing to the beach. Not that I wanted to see her hurt but it would have been totally cool to see that ball rolling down the beach with her in it. From what I know about the Jersey shore I think I’m safe in saying the residents of SSH would have enjoyed it just as much as I would have.
Than there is Lady Gaga who tweeted a photo of her ass to accompany the announcement of the release date of her new album and I totally missed it. I even saw the tweet originally but didn’t look until I was asked about it by a friend. All I can say is if the album is anywhere near as sweet as her ass she has another hit. I can’t believe I just wrote that!
And so blog year two begins with a bundle of randomness that I doubt anybody wants to read but I have to start somewhere and I'm still trying to purge the truths from my brain. That and ESPN has yet to call so now I'm shooting for Michael Musto’s job at the Village Voice.
Life goes on ....
My Chemical Romance - Na Na Na
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Happy New Year 1.1.11
I started this blog just over a year ago when I first moved to the Village. A friend of mine had suggested I start one as a sort of stress relief project. Years ago I had written in a journal for just that reason so it seemed like a good idea to me. At the time I had no idea that a year later I would be writing my 240th post. In fact if somebody would have told me that I would be I would have sworn they were as insane as I am. Still here I am doing just that.
So much has changed in the past year. In my life, the lives of my friends, my family, and the world I live in. Not the least of which is the fact that a year ago I was a very secretive person who held her emotions tight. Now, if you have been reading, you know as much about me as but few did a year ago. Always the enigma I do loath change yet I seem to thrive on it. I'm a creature of habit but also a person that is never truly satisfied and I constantly seem to be looking for something even if I'm not quite sure what it is.
Psykhe was the ancient Greek goddess of the soul whose story the saying 'wandering soul' is loosely derived from. In the end that might be the perfect description of me. I might be happy in the moment, and right now how could I not be, but deep down I am a wanderer. Time marches forever onward and with it my soul seems to wander on ahead always tugging me on to the next stop, wherever that might be. But I have a pretty good idea.
Bonne et heureuse nouvelle année à tous!
John Lennon - Imagine
This blog has been more fun than I ever dreamed it would be. In a perfect world somebody out there has enjoyed it as much as I have but truthfully I wouldn't know why. Yet if you have enjoyed it thanks so much for reading. Hopefully year two, another year of change, will be just as much fun as the last.
"Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time.
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle.
Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing."
William Shakespeare
Macbeth Act 5, scene 5, 19–28
So much has changed in the past year. In my life, the lives of my friends, my family, and the world I live in. Not the least of which is the fact that a year ago I was a very secretive person who held her emotions tight. Now, if you have been reading, you know as much about me as but few did a year ago. Always the enigma I do loath change yet I seem to thrive on it. I'm a creature of habit but also a person that is never truly satisfied and I constantly seem to be looking for something even if I'm not quite sure what it is.
Psykhe was the ancient Greek goddess of the soul whose story the saying 'wandering soul' is loosely derived from. In the end that might be the perfect description of me. I might be happy in the moment, and right now how could I not be, but deep down I am a wanderer. Time marches forever onward and with it my soul seems to wander on ahead always tugging me on to the next stop, wherever that might be. But I have a pretty good idea.
Bonne et heureuse nouvelle année à tous!
John Lennon - Imagine
This blog has been more fun than I ever dreamed it would be. In a perfect world somebody out there has enjoyed it as much as I have but truthfully I wouldn't know why. Yet if you have enjoyed it thanks so much for reading. Hopefully year two, another year of change, will be just as much fun as the last.
"Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time.
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle.
Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing."
William Shakespeare
Macbeth Act 5, scene 5, 19–28
Friday, December 31, 2010
Observations from the Road 12.31
Literally from the road ....
New Years Eve and I am yet again on the bus but this time going home for Foxy. The garage where I keep her was finally plowed so with nothing better to do I decided to head home now which gives the added benefit of it keeping me out of trouble tonight. It was a totally good idea because the bus is almost empty so I can stretch out over two seats without acting like a bish first.
Anyways the only reason I'm writing this is because the bus has wifi and damnit I'm going to literally post this from the road. Post what? Post sports trivia, women's sports trivia to be more precise. I was reading an article about UConn's women's basketball team losing after 90 straight wins last night and it reminded me of the Penn State women's volleyball team losing after 109 straight wins. Than something suddenly dawned on me and I think I should be calling ESPN.
On April 6, 2008 the Stanford Cardinals women’s basketball team beat the UConn Huskies in the NCAA semifinals. Uconn went on to win 90 straight games before losing to the same Stanford team last night.
On September 15, 2007 the Stanford Cardinals women’s volleyball team beat the Penn State Nittany Lions in the Yale Classic. Penn State went on to win those 109 straight matches only to lose to the same Stanford Cardinals back in September.
There has to be a lesson to be learned in that somewhere but I have no idea what it would be other than damn those Cardinals. You reading this Sports Center?
Now one request. Have a few drinks and play this vid for me around midnight or whenever the hell you see this. If this doesn't make you jump nothing ever will.
KORN - Coming Undone, Acid Remix
New Years Eve and I am yet again on the bus but this time going home for Foxy. The garage where I keep her was finally plowed so with nothing better to do I decided to head home now which gives the added benefit of it keeping me out of trouble tonight. It was a totally good idea because the bus is almost empty so I can stretch out over two seats without acting like a bish first.
Anyways the only reason I'm writing this is because the bus has wifi and damnit I'm going to literally post this from the road. Post what? Post sports trivia, women's sports trivia to be more precise. I was reading an article about UConn's women's basketball team losing after 90 straight wins last night and it reminded me of the Penn State women's volleyball team losing after 109 straight wins. Than something suddenly dawned on me and I think I should be calling ESPN.
On April 6, 2008 the Stanford Cardinals women’s basketball team beat the UConn Huskies in the NCAA semifinals. Uconn went on to win 90 straight games before losing to the same Stanford team last night.
On September 15, 2007 the Stanford Cardinals women’s volleyball team beat the Penn State Nittany Lions in the Yale Classic. Penn State went on to win those 109 straight matches only to lose to the same Stanford Cardinals back in September.
There has to be a lesson to be learned in that somewhere but I have no idea what it would be other than damn those Cardinals. You reading this Sports Center?
Now one request. Have a few drinks and play this vid for me around midnight or whenever the hell you see this. If this doesn't make you jump nothing ever will.
KORN - Coming Undone, Acid Remix
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Observations from the Snowpocalypse 12.29
The apocalypse in white is an apt description of the Village just days after the second 'great blizzard' of 2010. I suppose this is just our first because New York City itself was spared the worst of last winter's big storm. After two days of traveling, shoveling and wandering in the wasteland I am going to soak in a tub of hot water for as long as humanly possible. But first my thoughts from the snowpocalypse* ....
As I tried to get back to snow choked New York I quickly remembered something about long distance bus travel. I should never wear boots with any kind of heel at all because I'm too tall and even the two inch heels I had on made me feel cramped for space in no time at all. Also an MP3 player is an absolute must because you can put on the earbuds and zone out even if you aren't listening to anything. Just the mere appearance of the tall, cramped, zoned out dark bish is enough to keep people away, Sometimes it's just enough to get you two seats by yourself too.
A normal three hour bus trip stretched to four until I made it back. The city was a hodgepodge of stuck taxis, buses, and every other mode of transport imaginable. Only the ever present bicycle messengers seemed to be moving normally, albeit some were on mountain bikes. When I finally made it to our apartment building I found the entrance piled high with snow. Than at the gallery the sidewalk was in need of shoveling and I quickly decided that I should have stayed at my Dad's with Foxy. But shovel I did, from the gallery all the way to the liquor store up the street. After all I am no fool. I survived this back breaking labor relatively unscathed but for some sore muscles and a likely ruined pair of leather boots. Than again leather boots are never ruined to me, they just get worn with a diff outfit.
The one part of the city that does seem to have been cleared fast is Times Square. That is pretty easy to understand what with New Years Eve fast approaching. One doesn't want to worry about thousands of psycho snow ball wielding inebriated rubberneckers when terrorists are to be dealt with. And I'm sure the Mayor doesn't want to have this live TV quasi advertisement for the gleaming city disrupted either. How can Mayor Bloomberg expect to be President if he can't even get the snow cleared off the streets?
But I do have to say the city was beautiful when I got back, totally a disaster but still beautiful. Yesterday the snow was still a brilliant white in the Village and not the usual salt splattered grey you get used to seeing around here. The white snow under a clear blue sky just reminded me of the mountains, but not quite, somehow the towers don't remind me of trees.
After a day of shoveling and pretending the gallery was open I declared today a snow day and went exploring. Below is a link to some of what I found.
"the apocalypse in White" a set on flickr.
*Urban Dictionary: Snowpocalypse - A weather condition in which the amount of fallen snow, while not really such a big deal, wreaks havoc on a city, effectively shutting it down and leaving its citizens stunned and unable to see any sign of hope or a return to normalcy.
As I tried to get back to snow choked New York I quickly remembered something about long distance bus travel. I should never wear boots with any kind of heel at all because I'm too tall and even the two inch heels I had on made me feel cramped for space in no time at all. Also an MP3 player is an absolute must because you can put on the earbuds and zone out even if you aren't listening to anything. Just the mere appearance of the tall, cramped, zoned out dark bish is enough to keep people away, Sometimes it's just enough to get you two seats by yourself too.
A normal three hour bus trip stretched to four until I made it back. The city was a hodgepodge of stuck taxis, buses, and every other mode of transport imaginable. Only the ever present bicycle messengers seemed to be moving normally, albeit some were on mountain bikes. When I finally made it to our apartment building I found the entrance piled high with snow. Than at the gallery the sidewalk was in need of shoveling and I quickly decided that I should have stayed at my Dad's with Foxy. But shovel I did, from the gallery all the way to the liquor store up the street. After all I am no fool. I survived this back breaking labor relatively unscathed but for some sore muscles and a likely ruined pair of leather boots. Than again leather boots are never ruined to me, they just get worn with a diff outfit.
The one part of the city that does seem to have been cleared fast is Times Square. That is pretty easy to understand what with New Years Eve fast approaching. One doesn't want to worry about thousands of psycho snow ball wielding inebriated rubberneckers when terrorists are to be dealt with. And I'm sure the Mayor doesn't want to have this live TV quasi advertisement for the gleaming city disrupted either. How can Mayor Bloomberg expect to be President if he can't even get the snow cleared off the streets?
But I do have to say the city was beautiful when I got back, totally a disaster but still beautiful. Yesterday the snow was still a brilliant white in the Village and not the usual salt splattered grey you get used to seeing around here. The white snow under a clear blue sky just reminded me of the mountains, but not quite, somehow the towers don't remind me of trees.
After a day of shoveling and pretending the gallery was open I declared today a snow day and went exploring. Below is a link to some of what I found.
"the apocalypse in White" a set on flickr.
*Urban Dictionary: Snowpocalypse - A weather condition in which the amount of fallen snow, while not really such a big deal, wreaks havoc on a city, effectively shutting it down and leaving its citizens stunned and unable to see any sign of hope or a return to normalcy.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Observations from the Road 12.26
Christmas, nothing quite like Christmas. You have to love a day where it is perfectly acceptable to be drinking with the family before noon, I mean 11AM, oh it doesn't matter so never mind. It's almost like all day indoor tailgating with gifts with bonus of getting to shock the relatives just like on Thanksgiving. The first bottle of wine was finished twenty minutes after I opened it, that was not good. On the plus side I used a meat thermometer for the very first time and I'm so damn proud. Maybe if I ever give up on art I can open a diner, a kinda Goth diner coffee shop hangout kinda place. Guy Fieri could stop by and do a show.
But now back to reality, I woke up this morning and saw blizzard warnings had been issued for NYC. I think a blizzard warning is the NWS's way of saying 'you people are fucked' but they are too polite to say it. As the first flakes begin to fall here I'm keeping my eye on twitter to see what is going on up in the city. Evidently not much as I write this ....
@KeithOlbermann Not much to see here yet, Snowpocalyptically speaking. Still counting # of flakes not # of inches http://moby.to/x46ugo
But it does seem the dreaded snowpocalypse is back for a second year in a row. All I can think is what the hell? I don't remember New York getting hit with all these storms before I moved there but than I didn't pay much attention either. Now I seem to be trapped at my dad's for the time being because I totally refuse to take Foxy out in a blizzard. Actually I'm trying to talk my dad into parking his truck outside so I can use part of the garage to keep her clean and dry. I'm not getting anywhere with that and my best puppy dog eyes don't seem to work on him anymore. Personally I think he is just pissed off that the Eagles game has been postponed, as he said it's just snow.
So for now it looks like a day of eating, movies, and the last of the wine. But I might need more wine.
18:00 update - Watching the Weather Channel, that Samantha Mohr has an awesome hairstyle. Just sayin. Oh and it's still snowing ....
23:00 update - Ash says there is a foot of snow on the ground, more like on the sidewalk in the Village. No buses are running and the power is flickering, which happens to our old building when somebody sneezes hard. As for PA, buses to NYC are cancelled until 9AM and wine is running low ....
23:50 and final update - Foxy is spending the night in the garage, where puppy dog eyes fail tears never fail to do. Now I have to finish my porn discussion on twitter ....
But now back to reality, I woke up this morning and saw blizzard warnings had been issued for NYC. I think a blizzard warning is the NWS's way of saying 'you people are fucked' but they are too polite to say it. As the first flakes begin to fall here I'm keeping my eye on twitter to see what is going on up in the city. Evidently not much as I write this ....
@KeithOlbermann Not much to see here yet, Snowpocalyptically speaking. Still counting # of flakes not # of inches http://moby.to/x46ugo
But it does seem the dreaded snowpocalypse is back for a second year in a row. All I can think is what the hell? I don't remember New York getting hit with all these storms before I moved there but than I didn't pay much attention either. Now I seem to be trapped at my dad's for the time being because I totally refuse to take Foxy out in a blizzard. Actually I'm trying to talk my dad into parking his truck outside so I can use part of the garage to keep her clean and dry. I'm not getting anywhere with that and my best puppy dog eyes don't seem to work on him anymore. Personally I think he is just pissed off that the Eagles game has been postponed, as he said it's just snow.
So for now it looks like a day of eating, movies, and the last of the wine. But I might need more wine.
18:00 update - Watching the Weather Channel, that Samantha Mohr has an awesome hairstyle. Just sayin. Oh and it's still snowing ....
23:00 update - Ash says there is a foot of snow on the ground, more like on the sidewalk in the Village. No buses are running and the power is flickering, which happens to our old building when somebody sneezes hard. As for PA, buses to NYC are cancelled until 9AM and wine is running low ....
23:50 and final update - Foxy is spending the night in the garage, where puppy dog eyes fail tears never fail to do. Now I have to finish my porn discussion on twitter ....
Saturday, December 25, 2010
My Christmas Wish
I wish I had woke up and seen a black Ferrari California in the front yard with a big pink bow around it. Yes pink! For the California I’ll even take a pink bow. I’ll be pissed but I’ll still take it.
But seriously, what would I wish upon that big Christmas star?
It sounds kind of lame but I wish we could all get along. I don’t mean agree because that is never going to happen, just get along would be good enough. There are too many damn probs in this little world of ours to argue about every damn thing.
It shouldn’t matter what color your skin is, what party you belong to, whether you are gay or lesbian, catholic or muslim, or believe in the spaghetti monster for christ’s sake. We just have this one little place we call home and it gets smaller every day. It would be so awesome if we all realized that because if we don’t one day soon the whole house of cards will come tumbling down around us and we all will all to blame.
So that is my Christmas wish. Look at that ahole next to you and say heyas and Merry Christmas. Than ask how they are, how their life is going, just talk.
Barring that the California will do just fine ....
Joyeux Noël
But seriously, what would I wish upon that big Christmas star?
It sounds kind of lame but I wish we could all get along. I don’t mean agree because that is never going to happen, just get along would be good enough. There are too many damn probs in this little world of ours to argue about every damn thing.
It shouldn’t matter what color your skin is, what party you belong to, whether you are gay or lesbian, catholic or muslim, or believe in the spaghetti monster for christ’s sake. We just have this one little place we call home and it gets smaller every day. It would be so awesome if we all realized that because if we don’t one day soon the whole house of cards will come tumbling down around us and we all will all to blame.
So that is my Christmas wish. Look at that ahole next to you and say heyas and Merry Christmas. Than ask how they are, how their life is going, just talk.
Barring that the California will do just fine ....
Joyeux Noël
Friday, December 24, 2010
Thirty Days of Truths, Day 30
Tell yourself everything you love about yourself ....
Thirty days and this is all it comes down to? No shattering cosmic event to portend events in my future? This sucks! I love way I use the English language, that's what I love about myself. But seriously, everything I like about myself. Well some I have said before and some I haven't but here it is. Day 30 ....
I love my eyes because sometimes they are so dark they look black. And no I don’t wear colored contacts either so don't ask. They always looked so awesome on Goth Friday. I love being tall, I always have, and I like my body too. That's a good thing because with my metabolism it isn't going to change any time soon, besides I know it well. As much as I have a love/hate relationship with it I honestly do like my hair. I never have had short hair and have never really wanted it short, sorry to disappoint some. I love the way it looks wet and I love the way it looks straight but half the time it is neither, it's just a mess. I have a name for that look but I'll keep it to myself.
I love the way my mind works, the way I think and see the world around me. Actually there was a time I thought I was a bit insane until I was told I have four photopigments instead of the normal three, basically the opposite of color blindness. Who knew? As much as I know it can turn people off fast I love my arrogant personality. I also know it's just a cover but I like the softer side it is covering too. I care about things without really trying to, I just do.
But what I love the most about myself is the fact that I can create, I can show what I see. It's something I never like to talk about but I know I have a talent. I love to be able to see something in my mind and be able to share it. Whether sketching it, painting it, or just shooting it. It really doesn't matter to me, I just like to share. I like to be able to take my world and, however briefly, make it your world too. It's a good thing I can because along the way I have killed so many brain cells that, well, Walmart might have been the only other option.
It sounds a bit vain but I suppose what I love about myself is myself. When I look in the mirror I have few regrets. I'm just perfectly happy how I have turned out so far, except those days when I'm not ....
I’m just an enigma.
So there you have it, thirty ‘truths’ in a little over thirty days. I said I would finish it before Christmas and I do believe I have.
Merry Christmas everybody!
U2 - I Believe In Father Christmas
Thirty days and this is all it comes down to? No shattering cosmic event to portend events in my future? This sucks! I love way I use the English language, that's what I love about myself. But seriously, everything I like about myself. Well some I have said before and some I haven't but here it is. Day 30 ....
I love my eyes because sometimes they are so dark they look black. And no I don’t wear colored contacts either so don't ask. They always looked so awesome on Goth Friday. I love being tall, I always have, and I like my body too. That's a good thing because with my metabolism it isn't going to change any time soon, besides I know it well. As much as I have a love/hate relationship with it I honestly do like my hair. I never have had short hair and have never really wanted it short, sorry to disappoint some. I love the way it looks wet and I love the way it looks straight but half the time it is neither, it's just a mess. I have a name for that look but I'll keep it to myself.
I love the way my mind works, the way I think and see the world around me. Actually there was a time I thought I was a bit insane until I was told I have four photopigments instead of the normal three, basically the opposite of color blindness. Who knew? As much as I know it can turn people off fast I love my arrogant personality. I also know it's just a cover but I like the softer side it is covering too. I care about things without really trying to, I just do.
But what I love the most about myself is the fact that I can create, I can show what I see. It's something I never like to talk about but I know I have a talent. I love to be able to see something in my mind and be able to share it. Whether sketching it, painting it, or just shooting it. It really doesn't matter to me, I just like to share. I like to be able to take my world and, however briefly, make it your world too. It's a good thing I can because along the way I have killed so many brain cells that, well, Walmart might have been the only other option.
It sounds a bit vain but I suppose what I love about myself is myself. When I look in the mirror I have few regrets. I'm just perfectly happy how I have turned out so far, except those days when I'm not ....
I’m just an enigma.
So there you have it, thirty ‘truths’ in a little over thirty days. I said I would finish it before Christmas and I do believe I have.
Merry Christmas everybody!
U2 - I Believe In Father Christmas
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Observations from the Coffee Shop 12.23
Not long ago I wrote a post for truth number 14 in which I said President Obama was someone who let me down. With but one more truth to write I want to take a moment and take that one back. With all the excitement of the last couple days I realized it has been an amazing two years. Maybe not everything I had hoped for but than reality rarely lives up to the dream that created it.
The list is now a long one. The START treaty, 9-11 first responders bill, health care reform, Wall Street reform, hate crimes bill, recovery act, food safety legislation, clean energy legislation, and student loan reform. Plus he appointed two female Supreme Court justices including the first ever Latina one. And far far from least is the repeal of the military's DADT policy.
Yes there is much left to do, still ....
Merry Christmas Mr. President, enjoy Hawaii.
The list is now a long one. The START treaty, 9-11 first responders bill, health care reform, Wall Street reform, hate crimes bill, recovery act, food safety legislation, clean energy legislation, and student loan reform. Plus he appointed two female Supreme Court justices including the first ever Latina one. And far far from least is the repeal of the military's DADT policy.
Yes there is much left to do, still ....
Merry Christmas Mr. President, enjoy Hawaii.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Thirty Days of Truths, Day 29
Something I hope to change about myself. And why ....
Can I use location on this one? Why? Because Paris seems to be calling me. Damnit I’ll just think of something else. I knew that was too easy an answer.
I don't think it's ever going to be possible but if I could change anything I would tame that slight flaw in my personality that makes me so damn emo sometimes. A friend recently said I have a 'dark, lonerish, superior, arrogant bitch' attitude and I like that. It's a cover I have worked long and hard at over the years and I believe I may have finally perfected it. But still it seems to fail me at times.
The problem is the fact that under that veneer is a soul that can suddenly be torn with emotion. I'll usually mange to keep it safely hidden away and under control only to have it explode out of nowhere. There are times I don’t even know why it happens but still it does. It can last hours or it can last days than it will suddenly fade away as fast as it appeared. My mom once called it 'the mood' and it's a name that has stuck ever since.
Granted I love to paint when I'm in one of those moods. It's as if I can see the colors swirling around my head and can smell even feel the paint as I put on canvas. At moments like that every creative nerve in my body seems so alive I honestly think I could paint what I see with a blindfold on. It has to be the closest thing to an artistic orgasm as I have ever found.
Maybe I won't change that flaw after all. I mean seriously, who am I to turn down an orgasm?
Can I use location on this one? Why? Because Paris seems to be calling me. Damnit I’ll just think of something else. I knew that was too easy an answer.
I don't think it's ever going to be possible but if I could change anything I would tame that slight flaw in my personality that makes me so damn emo sometimes. A friend recently said I have a 'dark, lonerish, superior, arrogant bitch' attitude and I like that. It's a cover I have worked long and hard at over the years and I believe I may have finally perfected it. But still it seems to fail me at times.
The problem is the fact that under that veneer is a soul that can suddenly be torn with emotion. I'll usually mange to keep it safely hidden away and under control only to have it explode out of nowhere. There are times I don’t even know why it happens but still it does. It can last hours or it can last days than it will suddenly fade away as fast as it appeared. My mom once called it 'the mood' and it's a name that has stuck ever since.
Granted I love to paint when I'm in one of those moods. It's as if I can see the colors swirling around my head and can smell even feel the paint as I put on canvas. At moments like that every creative nerve in my body seems so alive I honestly think I could paint what I see with a blindfold on. It has to be the closest thing to an artistic orgasm as I have ever found.
Maybe I won't change that flaw after all. I mean seriously, who am I to turn down an orgasm?
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Thirty Days of Truths, Day 28
What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant,
what would you do ....
This probably the only one of the thirty that actually made me laugh. I'm sure it isn't supposed to do that but for my own not so personal reasons it did. Still I suppose I have to answer.
Short answer. Not going to happen.
Longer answer. Short of rape one is about as likely to happen as the other. All I can say is that if either one were to happen I would have to seriously reconsider my ideas on religion.
Me with a child, what a novel idea. Now that would have been one hell of a truth ....
what would you do ....
This probably the only one of the thirty that actually made me laugh. I'm sure it isn't supposed to do that but for my own not so personal reasons it did. Still I suppose I have to answer.
Short answer. Not going to happen.
Longer answer. Short of rape one is about as likely to happen as the other. All I can say is that if either one were to happen I would have to seriously reconsider my ideas on religion.
Me with a child, what a novel idea. Now that would have been one hell of a truth ....
Monday, December 20, 2010
Thirty Days of Truths, Day 27
The best thing I have going for me now ....
I thought I was going to have to think hard on this one but it was actually an easy one. The thing I have going for me now is probably the thing I have always had going for me. I might be the luckiest woman, no, the luckiest person alive. I already know what you are thinking, at best luck is just a word to explain some random happening or at worst just a superstition. But if I am going to believe in karma and fate why shouldn't I believe in luck too?
Hell I had to be lucky just to survive days 3, 8, 20, and 26 in this blogject. But it's way more than just that. I know I have had some low spots in my life but I seem to have this resiliency that let me bounce back every time and I know exactly where that resiliency comes from.
Other than two glaring instances I have always been lucky enough to be surrounded by some amazing and supportive people. They have helped me to always make the right choices, again other than a couple times when I failed miserably. I was born with such supportive parents who were always there when I needed them to be. Profs at Penn State, friends from there, and friends from the Village were and are just as supportive in their own ways. In second life I have met some truly unique and amazing people and found a muse and inspiration.
All these people have one thing in common. They seem to see something in me that I don't see in myself and try and pull it out of me whether I like it or not. Sometimes it goes well and sometimes it doesn't but I have yet to find somebody I truly call a friend that has given up on me. Maybe it is something else entirely but I like to think of it as luck and I think I am very lucky to know any of them.
So yes I'm going with luck, until somebody proves me wrong.
I thought I was going to have to think hard on this one but it was actually an easy one. The thing I have going for me now is probably the thing I have always had going for me. I might be the luckiest woman, no, the luckiest person alive. I already know what you are thinking, at best luck is just a word to explain some random happening or at worst just a superstition. But if I am going to believe in karma and fate why shouldn't I believe in luck too?
Hell I had to be lucky just to survive days 3, 8, 20, and 26 in this blogject. But it's way more than just that. I know I have had some low spots in my life but I seem to have this resiliency that let me bounce back every time and I know exactly where that resiliency comes from.
Other than two glaring instances I have always been lucky enough to be surrounded by some amazing and supportive people. They have helped me to always make the right choices, again other than a couple times when I failed miserably. I was born with such supportive parents who were always there when I needed them to be. Profs at Penn State, friends from there, and friends from the Village were and are just as supportive in their own ways. In second life I have met some truly unique and amazing people and found a muse and inspiration.
All these people have one thing in common. They seem to see something in me that I don't see in myself and try and pull it out of me whether I like it or not. Sometimes it goes well and sometimes it doesn't but I have yet to find somebody I truly call a friend that has given up on me. Maybe it is something else entirely but I like to think of it as luck and I think I am very lucky to know any of them.
So yes I'm going with luck, until somebody proves me wrong.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Observations on Art 12.19
One of the things that I think separates the arts from some other fields, such as science and law, is how emotionally based it can be. So much art is created because of emotions, real or maybe imagined but still emotions. Take the emotion out of painting, acting, and even photography and most of the great performances or works of history wouldn't exist. Sometimes we create to teach, sometimes to purely shock, and sometimes just to vent those emotions.
I think this has totally been true all through time. Before the Renaissance most, if not all, western art was commissioned by the church and it mostly shows religious scenes. With the Renaissance came the first depictions of non-religious or even anti-religious things, the first time art had drifted away from the church in almost 500 years. And so shock and awe in the art world was born.
Jacques-Louis David's "The Death of Marat", Goya's "Executions of the Third of May, 1808", and Picasso's "Guernica" all tried to shock the public into an awareness of events of the times. And today we have the storm over the removal of David Wojnarowicz's film "A Fire in My Belly" from the Smithsonian's 'Hide/Seek' exhibit. The film was created after Wojnarowicz's lover died of AIDS and he himself was diagnosed with the disease. His response was anger and he used the anger to create the film.
This has been a way too long way for my art history brain to get to the point. Even though I hide it well I know my brain is fueled by emotion. I tend to act on them before the much smaller thinking part of my brain has a chance to override those emotions. I see something in my mind and create what I see before stopping to think how I might be making another person feel in the process. Not that I care how most people feel about what I do but there are a few people out there in the world that I do care about. Recently I did just that, and hurt the feelings of somebody I do care about.
And I am so sorry.
I really need to think sometimes but it so does my head hurt ....
I think this has totally been true all through time. Before the Renaissance most, if not all, western art was commissioned by the church and it mostly shows religious scenes. With the Renaissance came the first depictions of non-religious or even anti-religious things, the first time art had drifted away from the church in almost 500 years. And so shock and awe in the art world was born.
Jacques-Louis David's "The Death of Marat", Goya's "Executions of the Third of May, 1808", and Picasso's "Guernica" all tried to shock the public into an awareness of events of the times. And today we have the storm over the removal of David Wojnarowicz's film "A Fire in My Belly" from the Smithsonian's 'Hide/Seek' exhibit. The film was created after Wojnarowicz's lover died of AIDS and he himself was diagnosed with the disease. His response was anger and he used the anger to create the film.
This has been a way too long way for my art history brain to get to the point. Even though I hide it well I know my brain is fueled by emotion. I tend to act on them before the much smaller thinking part of my brain has a chance to override those emotions. I see something in my mind and create what I see before stopping to think how I might be making another person feel in the process. Not that I care how most people feel about what I do but there are a few people out there in the world that I do care about. Recently I did just that, and hurt the feelings of somebody I do care about.
And I am so sorry.
I really need to think sometimes but it so does my head hurt ....
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