A full moon over the ocean seems a fitting way to end my yearly sojourn to the shore. Actually, as I start writing this, it won’t be long and I’ll be seeing the sun rise again but I really should crawl to bed. I always totally hate having to leave here. It’s one of those times where you just think if your karma goes bad you may never be back. I suppose every vacation ends with those thoughts but sometimes I just get to damn morose for my own good. I don’t like good times to end because I figure the bad times are just lurking in the background.
I never did think about what I am going to do when i get back. But in the end I really didn’t need to. With the VQs here I realized one thing. In a short six months in the Village I may have changed more than I knew. I really can’t see myself going back to PSU, not even for my mountains. I just can’t see the two of them doing without me. OK now I’m laughing so hard I’m going to spit my beer all over my laptop. But honestly I can’t see leaving them behind because I enjoy every weird little moment I spend with them. Maybe one day I can be a VQ too, that is if I ever figure out how the hell they do it.
A few things did come out of this week. I didn’t do as much sketching as I wanted to but I seem to have discovered, or rediscovered, color photography. Not that I forgot it existed because I usually shoot in color, with a very low iso, and convert it to b&w on my computer. I love the shading and detail you can pull out in b&w. But I was amazed by the intensity of the color in the pics I was taking here and I couldn’t bring myself to convert them. (pics)
The other thing is a bit deeper and had me thinking most of the night. I’ve written before about my problem with cocaine and trip to rehab and I’m sure I will again at some point. It all started during a trip to Wildwood just after my mom passed away seven years ago. I have been up and down the south Jersey shore many times since than but have never ever gone back to Wildwood, avoiding it like the plague. That is until this week.
Ash, in her boundless wisdom, decided I needed confront the demons I saw lurking there and finally purge my brain of them once and for all. Of course neither she nor Chloe informed me of this evil plot because they just wanted to ‘ride the coasters’ and I fell for it. Now I love roller coasters myself but I hate boardwalks. On a good day the Wildwood boardwalk reminds me of some freak show out of Dante with a side serving of ocean. But I figured I owed them and didn’t want my senseless fear of the past getting in the way of their fun so I went with them.
I would love to finish this with a paragraph about the stunning catharsis that happened when I got there but I can’t. Not because I don’t want to but because nothing happened, not a fucking thing. I took some pics, road some coasters, and went back to Stone Harbor no worse for the wear. I guess it helped that the motel I had stayed at during that summer is now tourist strip mall complete with pink flamingos, Hawaiian shirts, and pseudo Caribbean nick knacks all I’m sure made in China. So it seems you really can go back sometimes.
I suppose this is it from the shore for this year. You’ll just have to go back to watching MTV’s version now.
Dead Poetic - New Medicines