Thirty Days of Truths, Day 1

Something you hate about yourself ….

At first glance this one is so easy it almost makes me laugh and I can answer it in a few short sentences. I can become suddenly emo to an extreme. I might have a reason in my head but I don’t honestly need one. Sometimes darkness just swirls around in my head and it just happens.

See that was totally easy and made all the easier by the fact that I seem to be in one of the moods at the moment. The thing is now that I wrote it I have to sit back and think about what I wrote. And that is going to be the biggest problem doing this whole thing. I'm going to need another doctor until day 30.

Yes I can be emo, I can get into a mood so dark I make Ophelia seem like Cinderella. But I’m also an enigma, even to myself. I don’t want to say I enjoy the mood but sometimes I seem to thrive on it. I did one of my favorite paintings when I was in just such a mood. I hate the way I make people feel when I get this way but I have no control over it at all, the demons just take over. I can be moody, dark, anti-social, and totally withdraw inside myself and at the same moment want attention, need the attention. This means be nice but don't always expect much in return.

So I can be an anti-social attention whore. Just an enigma.

Why the hell did I start this?

Thirty Days of Truths

I saw a tweet this morning that just grabbed me. I followed the link to a blog post titled “30 Days of Truths” and the idea just fascinates me. Every day you answer a question that tells a ‘truth’ about yourself. Personally I hate this time of year and it just seems like a perfect way to drag myself kicking and screaming into the holidays.

So here are the questions.

Day 01, Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02, Something you love about yourself.
Day 03, Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04, Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05, Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06, Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07, Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08, Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09, Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10, Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11, Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12, Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13, A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14, A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15, Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16, Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17, A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18, Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19, What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20, Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21, (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22, Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23, Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24, Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25, The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26, Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27, What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28, What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29, Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30, A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Some of them, like day 20, are going to be hard I’m sure but others, day 28 comes to mind, are going to be silly and fun. And for those of you going ‘oh %*&$’ I promise to keep you all out of it.

I know it says thirty days but you know me. With everything else I have my fingers in (no pun intended) I know I wont have time for some but I do promise to do them in order and have it finished by Christmas. I plan on starting later today so just fasten your seat belts a hold on tight, it could get interesting.

May the gods help me ....