Monday, November 15, 2010

Thirty Days of Truths, Day 1

Something you hate about yourself ….

At first glance this one is so easy it almost makes me laugh and I can answer it in a few short sentences. I can become suddenly emo to an extreme. I might have a reason in my head but I don’t honestly need one. Sometimes darkness just swirls around in my head and it just happens.

See that was totally easy and made all the easier by the fact that I seem to be in one of the moods at the moment. The thing is now that I wrote it I have to sit back and think about what I wrote. And that is going to be the biggest problem doing this whole thing. I'm going to need another doctor until day 30.

Yes I can be emo, I can get into a mood so dark I make Ophelia seem like Cinderella. But I’m also an enigma, even to myself. I don’t want to say I enjoy the mood but sometimes I seem to thrive on it. I did one of my favorite paintings when I was in just such a mood. I hate the way I make people feel when I get this way but I have no control over it at all, the demons just take over. I can be moody, dark, anti-social, and totally withdraw inside myself and at the same moment want attention, need the attention. This means be nice but don't always expect much in return.

So I can be an anti-social attention whore. Just an enigma.

Why the hell did I start this?


  1. Well... you started because you fancied the challenge, were taken by the idea and felt up to a challenge.

    Some of the best adventures out there are started fro the very same reasons... so try not to be down on yourself, and look at it in the very simplest terms...

    You eat an elephant one bite at a time, just like anything else.

  2. ok one day, one question, one bite at a time ....

    yeah locked in but I'm still wondering how the hell I got myself into it ;)