Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Thirty Days of Truths, Day 3

Something I have to forgive myself for ....

What I did to myself now over seven years ago. More than that what I did to my family and friends in the process. I'm an addict, I'll always be and addict, and I have to live with that fact for the rest of my life. It's hard to explain to somebody that hasn't been through it but it's impossible to completely put behind you. It's a demon always lurking in the background, always waiting for a new chance. People will say I have put it behind me, that I have moved on, and I politely agree knowing full well I never totally will.

A semester's worth of tuition money, a month in rehab, and a summer of my life lost forever. Worse than that is the way I feel people look at me. No matter what they say I know it has to shade their opinion of me. It's pretty damn much to forgive and I'm not sure I ever will.

Yes I am an addict.


  1. you should be extremely proud of what you've accomplished in keeping that demon at bay.

    While what happened is probably your greatest shame, you overcoming it should be your greatest pride.

  2. thanks, you know it is when I actually think about it that way. I am proud of myself for getting past it as well as I have. it hasn't been as much of a constant struggle as it has been for some people i know. I'm just never going to let it happen again, hopefully ...