Observations from the Library 9.2

I started this blog over just over nine months and 150 posts ago and the original plan was a mix between the worlds of Katie and Kaycee but it never quite worked out that way. There are probably many reasons for that but I can put my finger on at least one. One of my Twitter contacts is called iTweetArt which is a constant line of quotes by artists and about art. Yesterday I saw this quote, “I am my own experiment. I am my own work of art.” It is a quote from Madonna and I bring it up because it says in a simpler way what I have been trying to explain for a long time now.

I first started Second Life in 2007 as a form of therapy, a way to run away from freshly burnt bridges and to stay off the doctor’s couch. With the help of some very good friends and one muse I met along the way it succeeded phenomenally well. I stayed off the couch and saved my dad a load of money. At times I have let my very emo side take over in ways i never would in real life and, in so doing, managed to bury some demons so deep that hopefully I never see them again.

In the process Kaycee became as much a part of Katie as anything else in my life. I have heard somebody say the name Kaycee in real life, answered, and promptly turned as red as a fresh beet. The strands of my two lives mingle through twitter, plurk, flickr, and tumblr. Kaycee or KC or Nightfire have become my pseudo pen names. She is quite literally a part of, and a sort of extension of, my art. The Madonna quote hit a nerve because I so completely understand it and at a certain level I relate to it.

I have seen many friends and acquaintances come and go in sl, it just goes with the territory I suppose. I have been told again and again that I myself will leave sooner or later. When you take that job at Penn State, when you move to the Village, or when you meet somebody in real life you will go. But I always seem to prove them wrong. At times I think I will be the one to turn out all the lights, say goodbye, and close the door behind me because to leave Kaycee behind would be like leaving a part of me behind too. I’ve been down that road before and don’t really want to go down there again.

This is something I have rolled through my empty brain for what seems like forever. I just hope it makes some sense and I am not just heading for that doctor’s couch anyway.

The Greek philosopher Heraclitus said “Everything flows, nothing stands still.” That seems as good a way as any to end this because I’m rambling and have to end somehow.

Pearl Jam - Just Breathe