Observations from the Road 12.1

Something happened a few days ago that I found so funny I had to share the even if it says way too much about today's world and not in a good way. If you don't know I'm originally from a smallish town in Pennsylvania. I was at the final Penn State home game last weekend and due to the weather forecast decided to just go to my dad's afterwords, there was nothing I needed to do that I couldn't do from there. To understand why I found this story so funny you have to try and imagine it happening in a small town, one with a large elderly population, and in an area not exactly known as a hotbed of a liberal agenda. On top of that it happened the day before Thanksgiving.

I was driving through town when I saw three county sheriffs in riot gear standing outside a one chair barber shop. There is a small apartment above the barber and the black clad sheriffs seemed to be pointing up at it. My one uncle works in law enforcement so I texted him to see if he knew what was going on.

This is the quick version of the story I got by text over the next hour as I laughed hysterically. Apparently the sheriffs had shown up to serve a warrant to the man who lives in the apartment. He didn't answer the door and the sheriffs thought they heard a shotgun being loaded so they called for support. My uncle informed me the county rapid response team, read that SWAT team, was staging on a parking lot a block from the barber shop. This is where I couldn't stop laughing because all I could imagine is the scene in Home Alone where Macaulay Culkin  uses the TV for sound effects. As my uncle said, waste all that money, storm the building, and all they find is an empty apartment with a TV blaring what I hoped was Scarface (warning, clip is not approved for all audiences). On my way home I drove a back way to avoid the bedlam but at the last minute swung into town because I just had to see, only there was nothing to see but the original sheriffs. Apparently the long deceased suspect had been found before the team could fully assemble and the coroner had been called but hadn't yet arrived. However the event did make all the local news shows.

I can only imagine the conversations around the town's dinner tables the following day.

note - If you didn't understand what I meant by this little episode saying something about today's world it's this. Police departments, down to the smallest town it seems, are way too well armed and they look for any excuse to use their toys. Imagine what could have happened had the suspect simply been passed out drunk as the 'rapid response team' stormed his apartment.

Observations from the Road 11.22

It officially begins, the holiday season. It begins with warm pastries, coffee, and a newspaper with enough Black Friday ads to kill a tree. Somewhere in this house my dad surely has a case of win hid but I haven't begun to seriously look for it yet. He started hiding it years ago when he bought a case of wine to last the entire month and I drank most of it over Thanksgiving weekend. My wingnut uncles will do that to me and I can call them wingnuts in writing because I've been known to call them wingnuts to their face. They laugh it off though because they know Katie never has been all there. Little do they know, Katie is just fine but they aren't all there. This is how it goes at our Thanksgiving dinner and I love every wine soaked minute of it.

Somewhere Christmas music is playing now. Probably that overly sentimental sister of mine preparing herself for an early round of shopping tomorrow morning. I know its not my brother because it isn't noon yet so he wont be awake. But I lie, he was up as early as me and made the coffee. Much better coffee than I could have made I might add.

It's a gorgeous if cold morning in Pennsylvania. The turkey seems to be suitably thawed and it looks like a nice if somewhat unlucky bird, it didn't win the White House turkey pardon lottery. Wine, cook, dinner, football, wine, argue, stomp out to the porch for a cigarette, football. I think that covers it but did I mention wine?

Strange but as much as I sometimes dislike this time of year it's also the time of year I'm the least cynical. I really don't understand why that is so I guess it just gets filed in the 'I'm just an enigma' category. So what am I thankful for, it always comes down to my family, really that's all I need and I would't change a thing about any of them. Hell I even enjoy arguing with the crazy wingnut branch of the family but maybe that's just because of the wine. I know they don't celebrate our Thanksgiving in the middle east but the Gaza ceasefire seems to be holding for now. That's something to be thankful for too.

Honestly I don't understand why everybody doesn't celebrate our Thanksgiving Day. I mean seriously, who wouldn't want to remember a group of religious zealots landing in a new land, celebrating with the native population, enjoying their gifts of food, all the while wondering how they could be rid of them in the spring. It's just so American. Sarcasm! Just prepping for my uncles.

Happy Thanksgiving people

Sunday Observations 11.18

Thanksgiving is Thursday so I suppose it is officially the holiday season now. It's cold enough in the Village and I went ice skating last night but something still seems to be missing. Oh yes, the NHL is still pretending to be a league on the level of the NFL and there is still no major league hockey. Some Philadelphia Flyers players are going to play some of the hated Rangers in Atlantic City Saturday night to raise money for Sandy victims and my brother has tickets. This now makes my Thanksgiving dinner goal talking him into taking his loving older sister to the game instead of his girlfriend, something that could be interesting with her sitting there. We shall see, I'll just have to keep their wine glasses full.

Another sign of the season is that I have turned on my iTunes playlist of 500 Christmas tunes. Yeah I know, so not me and I sometimes really don't like the season at all. It's just that same old love/hate thing I have going with Christmas.

There was another bit of election news, this time from Oregon. Democrat Tina Kotek was elected state House Speaker by the state's Democrats on Thursday. She will be the first open lesbian to lead a state legislature. Openly gay people will lead the legislatures of five states now, up from two before the election.

Not much news on the secessionist front but there is this very important petition on the White House website now that I will post below. It has been there for a couple days now and the White House doesn't seem in any rush to remove it. Must be something about the Hostess CEO raising his yearly salary to $2.25 million than filing for bankruptcy and putting 18,000 out of work.

WE PETITION THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION TO:
Nationalize the Twinkie industry
"We the undersigned, hereby request Barack Obama to immediately Nationalize the Twinkie industry and prevent our nation from losing her sweet creamy center."
Created: Nov 16, 2012
SIGNATURES NEEDED BY DECEMBER 16, 2012
TO REACH GOAL OF 25,000: 22,125

I would scream "save the Twinkie" to finish but to be quite honest I hate the damn things. It would make a good sign for the Walmart Black Friday strikes though so I better get that copyrighted quick.

Observations from the Road 11.26

So another Thanksgiving dinner with the family is past and I survived yet again. My parents always had a big family dinner for Thanksgiving and my dad continued that tradition after my mom passed away. To understand the dynamics of our Thanksgiving dinner you have to understand a little something about my family. I grew up in a predominately religious conservative Republican area which most of central Pennsylvania is. My dad, however, is a left of center Democrat and my mom was probably as liberal as one can get. Throw in the arrogant radical lesbian daughter and you have quite a family. The problem is all my dad's brothers and most of their families are typical of the area, conservative Repubes. This small but very important item may be the reason wine has become a very important part of my Thanksgiving tradition. Over the years I have taken great pleasure in driving them totally insane.

As always conversations flowed from one wonderful subject to another. The Penn State mess, President Obama, the occupy movement, and why does that girl, wear black so much? That girl in the question would be me and it's a rather traditional holiday subject. Normally I just dive in and wind everybody up but I seemed to have another one of those maturing moments this year. I drank my wine, looked around, and just thought I'm right, they're wrong, and I'm never going to change their minds. It just didn't seem to be worth the dead brain cells anymore. Still I had some revenge, Lady Gaga in my kitchen and no country music anywhere in the house. People, even family, can push me only so far.

One thing I enjoyed more than I had any right to was lying under my brother's new jeep for an hour as I helped him take the running boards off it. I really don't get many opportunities to play with cars in the Village and I miss that sometimes.

My sis dragged me out of bed early to do some Black Friday shopping, girl has no respect at all for a hangover. We hit a lot of stores and shops but gave Walmart a wide berth because we didn't want to get caught up in any rioting, not that I would be caught dead in one of those stores anyway. I should have given Bath and Body Works the same treatment because when I left there I had a bag full with a whole new flavor for my bath, Black Raspberry Vanilla. Thing is I can't buy just the lotion, I have to have it all, lotion, body spray, and bubble bath. I'm going to smell absolutely yummy though.

As I write this Penn State is about to play Wisconsin in the final regular game of the year with the winner plating Michigan State next week in the first ever Big 10 championship game. For a change I'm going to watch the game with my dad and brother.

A belated Happy Thanksgiving everybody.

Observations from the Window 12.15

I’m just taking a little break from the ‘truths’ here because I’m struggling a bit over these next two. Life, death, and taxes just scare the hell out of me. On top of that I have my horoscope telling me turmoil will swirl around me for the rest of the month. Not that I believe in horoscopes, their just karma’s bad relation, but it seems to be the way it always goes for me this time of year.

The world that is mine just seems a bit turned upside down at the moment. I never got back to my sister’s big Thanksgiving news for the family. She wants to, is going to, join the Navy. Go to photography school there than go to art school when she gets out. While I now think she is as totally insane as her older sister I am still proud of her for thinking it all through on her own. I’ll leave it at that before I end up getting myself in trouble.

Than you have the non artsie member of the triumvirate. My brother graduates from Penn State this weekend ending a long run for us in the mountains. But the little shit has decided he doesn’t want to go to the graduation ceremonies in person. I say little shit in the best possible way because he is six inches taller than me, though I still think I could take him though. I just think he should go to graduation like I did and just sneak a bottle of champagne in under his gown. It isn’t as if the TSA is going to pat him down on the way to the stage.

On top of all this is the normal end of the year Christmas emo mood that I fall into. As always I feel it tug at me, start to pull me down, as Christmas gets nearer and nearer. But I’m going to fight it this year no matter how much alcohol it takes. After all I have a turkey to make and I found a totally kewl recipe for jalapeno cranberry relish that should put some unexpected bite into Christmas dinner. I guess I really should start shopping though, the clock is suddenly ticking faster.

It’s enough to make this tall bish throw up her hands and scream.

But not yet anyway. Not yet ….

Robert Earl Keene - Merry Christmas From The Family

Not that I am going to start posting xMas tunes but that is effing classic. I remember the first time Sean and I saw it, we just had to watch it over and over.

Observations from the Road 11.27

So yesterday was Black Friday, either the busiest shopping day of the year or a Friday to wear black. I used to enjoy Goth Friday myself but this shopping you can have. I stayed in and reacquired a forgotten vice in the 'Food Network' and its "Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives" marathon. Even with it being the day after Thanksgiving I don't think I was ever so hungry in my life.

I had a nice calm week here at my dad's and was in no mood to drive back yesterday as planed so for now in Pennsylvania I remain. I didn't burn the turkey, I did act fairly adult like, I finished some work I had been putting off, hung out with a cousin I haven’t seen in a awhile, and yet managed to consume a decent amount of wine and beer. All that I got to watch enough Flyers games to get me through until Christmas. The one problem is it's seriously getting to that ‘it's to damn cold to smoke outside’ time of year. Never the less I had a pretty damn good week of vegging that sadly must come to an end soon.

My sister had some rather stunning news for the family that I might pass on later and my brother should graduate next month so for a change I melted into the background and just absorbed it all. I absorbed that along with a few bottles of wine. In hind sight I should have known not going Goth was a mistake but than I don't normally like being the center of attention do I?

Black Friday is also the beginning of the run into Christmas and New Years so it has another meaning to me too. It was always my mom's fav time of year and I seem to miss her more at this time than at any other, even more than her birthday. It wouldn't be fair to her to say I don't like the holiday season but I do get dark and moody the closer it gets. I need to stock up on my holiday spirits.

So be forewarned, the ride gets bumpy from here.

My Chemical Romance - Sing

Observations from the Kitchen 11.25

The turkey is in the oven as, for the third year in a row, I attempt not to burn the Thanksgiving bird. Sean is shuffling around nursing a hangover after reconnecting with the local bar last night and, in a new holiday tradition, I'm sitting at the kitchen table staring at a soon to be opened bottle of wine. I had to buy my own this year as my dad learned his lesson and didn't buy his Christmas case early this year. Either that or he found a much better hiding spot than the last one.

I promise to act relatively adult like this year or as adult like as I possibly can. I'll try and stay sober until after dinner and no goth makeup to freak the relatives. I always enjoyed that though so maybe just a little around the eyes but the lipstick always makes the turkey taste like dried out crayons. I don't want to freak out the relatives? If that isn't a sign I'm finally maturing nothing is.

So this is where I'm supposed to write some kind of 'what I'm thankful for' post. I could go with the traditional family, friends, and staying out of rehab but I'm not going to. But I want to mention one thing I am thankful for. I may get irritated at him at times because there is so much that needs to be done. But I am thankful Barrack Obama is my President because the alternative is just to damn depressing to think about.

Happy Thanksgiving everybody. 'Thirty Days of Truths' returns tomorrow at its regularly scheduled time.

And now the wine ....